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Cicinsajn posted 2/5/2019 13:12 PM

I whent on my first dait..we talk for felt nice..we texiting for 1week and he wants sex..why rush..i dont want sex whit him because i dont know him..hmm..are all guys are like that?

TrustGone posted 2/5/2019 15:01 PM

If he is wanting sex after one week and you don't then that should tell you he is not the one for you. Do not be pressured into moving a relationship faster than you want. No, not all men are like this. I dated my now husband for months before we took it to the next level and it was at our own pace. We got to know each other and became friends long before we became intimate. You are in control of your life and it's up to you how and when to proceed forward. He is not worthy of you.

WhoTheBleep posted 2/5/2019 15:14 PM

He's already asked for sex? ASKED for it? And you're not giving off "I'm into it" signals? Nope nope nope. He sounds like a...well...NOT the man for you.

LilBlackCat posted 2/5/2019 16:09 PM

Yea, sounds like you guys are not quite compatible..

Feeling you are not ready is fine and normal, if you pump the brakes and he is still striving to get you into bed.. Then it speaks for itself

If he takes that step back and respects your decision.. Then that's a different story, but you have to ensure you keep him reassured of your position of dating him.. otherwise, he will think you are stringing him along.. While playing the field. I know this, cause it happened to me...

My only suggestions beyond that, is to watch your own queues.. that might be misinterpreted as being forward and him reading those.. when they are not in fact true.

Men want to catch the woman they are into.. There are two primary views of getting a woman into bed.. One is the sexual fun aspect, and nothing more.. The other is moving the relationship to hopefully a monogamous level through sexual confirmation. Impossible to differentiate between the two tho.

Good luck.

truthsetmefree posted 2/5/2019 16:55 PM


I know English is not your native language so please take no offense about this. You speak two languages so you are waaay of me.

I think you’ve just coined a new term that fits my perspective on dating - Date + Bait = DAITING. I absolutely LOVE IT!

[This message edited by truthsetmefree at 4:57 PM, February 5th (Tuesday)]

Cicinsajn posted 2/5/2019 23:02 PM

Cicinsajn posted 2/6/2019 02:04 AM

He didnt directly ask for it.But he invating him self to my home after 22h whit alcohol..i sey he text me good morning and taht's it..huh..i would told him that i dont want casual sex..

EvenKeel posted 2/6/2019 07:23 AM

truthsetmefree - I thought the same thing when I read that title. I thought it was some new, hip slang. Look at your Cicinsjn! Inviting words appropriate for age! Loved it. I am in awe of people who know multiple languages.

But he invating him self to my home
This is a BIG flag. I would worry if he is already like this (when he should be on his BEST behavior) - how will he be when he lets down his guard?

I found out quick when I was dating that people are all looking for different things. If you are not looking for a quick sexual relationship, then please tell him you are just looking for different things and wish him well on his endeavors.

AND PLEASE be safe when you are meeting new people. I am worried that he already knew where you lived on just the first date? And was in a place where he could force himself in if he wanted.

You take care of you first! You decide what you are ready for and make that clear to them. Don't do anything until you are ready.

Cicinsajn posted 2/6/2019 08:04 AM

Thank you..i told him today..and bye bye..huh.sorry my english is so bad ..i understand every word..i know how to speak but writing is not my thing

imagoodwitch posted 2/6/2019 08:27 AM

Please don't apologize! When I read your posts, I read them with your accent and I understand exactly what you are saying.

Never apologize for not wanting casual sex, stay true to you.

EvenKeel posted 2/6/2019 09:08 AM

sorry my english is so bad
Oh no - do not apologize!!! You do great - I am always able to understand what you mean. I just thought it was cute.

i told him today..and bye bye..huh
Good for you.

Remember, this is YOUR new beginning. If it helps, make a list of what you do and do not want in a future partner. Sometimes that helps us along the way when a new person starts messaging us because we get all caught up with the good feelings of just connecting with someone.

Cicinsajn posted 2/6/2019 23:47 PM

Sending a grupe hug's

Tortured posted 2/8/2019 01:17 AM

I don’t automatically shoot down a guy that tries it on. Finding you attractive is also good What I do is judge how they respond when I decline. I ALWAYS have a mandatory wait period to weed out the ones just after sex.

Another thing I do to have intimacy but not sex is “pants on sleepovers”. So we hang out together / sleep in the same bed ... kiss etc. but the PANTS stay on! I had a Dutch colleague who we would have massives laugh over this and he would just say pants on sleepovers mean you don’t like them enough. I disagree.... it’s nice to lie and chat without having sex.

tiredofcrying59 posted 2/8/2019 18:32 PM

Just asking, I don't know what dating site you're on, but you can put that you don't want any ONS or anything like that. Also make sure your pics are attractive yet not overtly sexy.

I am pretty casual about sex, but not everyone is, not even all guys. Just be safe and don't let anyone pressure you. I meet everyone in a public place the first time. Just to be sure. And I tell someone where I'm going.

Cicinsajn posted 2/9/2019 02:21 AM

Im not on dating site..i meet this guy on concert 2weeks ago

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