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What to do on Valentine's Day

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 seeker16 (original poster member #57059) posted at 9:47 PM on Monday, February 11th, 2019

So I’ve been casually talking to a woman for a few weeks now, however we’ve only been on one date. The date went well enough to get a 2nd date but we’ve had to cancel twice now due to sickness and our crazy custody schedules. I’m supposed to see her this Friday night, the day after V-day.

My question is, should I send her something on V-day? Even if it’s something small…just to acknowledge it? It’s obvious that I’m interested in her romantically but I don’t want to be too presumptuous but at the same time I feel like I should acknowledge it somehow.

Any thoughts or suggestions?

posts: 117   ·   registered: Jan. 24th, 2017
id 8327894
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LilBlackCat ( member #57470) posted at 9:58 PM on Monday, February 11th, 2019

If you know where she works.. and able to meet her for a quick hello.. then get something small like a flower or what not and drop it off.. 2 minute visit, just to show her she's special to you..

Then do the real special thing on your actual date.

Me: BS 43 (Now 50)
Her: WW 37
18 M, 19 Together
4 Children, youngest is now 9.

Divorce Final as of 9/3/19.

posts: 1247   ·   registered: Feb. 17th, 2017   ·   location: San Diego
id 8327903
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Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 12:56 AM on Tuesday, February 12th, 2019

After one date....I would think of it as odd behavior. Too much too soon.

But that is just me and my alarm over love bombing behavior.

Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver

Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie

posts: 6709   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2010
id 8328020
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staystrong101 ( member #41068) posted at 1:17 AM on Tuesday, February 12th, 2019

I agree, too much too soon would scare me off. But maybe I’m unusual. I think a genuine phone call or text on V day, saying Hsppy Valentines Day and you’re looking forward to your date the next night. It shows you’re thinking of her but you’re not desperate, clingy or needy. But again that’s just my opinion.

posts: 681   ·   registered: Oct. 21st, 2013   ·   location: United States
id 8328029
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LilBlackCat ( member #57470) posted at 2:01 AM on Tuesday, February 12th, 2019

I think it might have to also account for how things are going between you guys..

I didn't think that was over the top, as the ladies did.. but then again I am a guy..

I would rather my girl get something small and sweet, versus nothing.. and you know she's gonna be talking to her friends about what they got (or didn't, followed with the complaints) and would/could be a bad thing when a lil effort could go along way.. but that's my perspective.

Just don't show up with a 2 dozen bouquet of red roses and a musical band and a 10ct diamond tennis bracelet.

[This message edited by LilBlackCat at 8:04 PM, February 11th (Monday)]

Me: BS 43 (Now 50)
Her: WW 37
18 M, 19 Together
4 Children, youngest is now 9.

Divorce Final as of 9/3/19.

posts: 1247   ·   registered: Feb. 17th, 2017   ·   location: San Diego
id 8328047
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thisisterrible ( member #24727) posted at 4:00 AM on Tuesday, February 12th, 2019

This actually happened to me a few years back: I had been on one date with a guy before Valentines Day. We planned on going out again, but schedules were making it a little difficult. When I got home from work on Valentines Day, there was a small vase of flowers from him waiting on my door. I was super impressed and flattered and thought it was extremely thoughtful! If it had been a dozen roses or something that cost a lot of money, I would have felt uncomfortable, but this was just a small vase that probably didn't cost more than $15.

So my recommendation - send something small and inexpensive that doesn't freak her out thinking that you're madly in love, but that let's her know that you thought of her. A single rose with a simple card that says "Happy Valentine's Day! See you tomorrow night! Seeker16" would be perfect, in my opinion.

Me:BS Him:WH Two kids
A started 2/09 - S 7/09 - he filed for D 12/09
I wanted to R and he didn't. He never stopped seeing the MOW, who filed for D 11/09. They've since broke up...for now.

posts: 682   ·   registered: Jul. 8th, 2009
id 8328092
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Myname ( member #23138) posted at 4:46 PM on Tuesday, February 12th, 2019

I say just a Happy Valentine's Day text or phone call. Sending or giving her a physical gift is too much this early. Plus if you give it to her at her work, she has to now explain who gave her the flower/gift and that could get awkward for her.

But then again, I'm terrible at this sort of thing.

DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 45
12-08-10: S
Divorced and moved on with my life.

posts: 4060   ·   registered: Mar. 7th, 2009   ·   location: Inside your computer.
id 8328285
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HappyTree ( member #56916) posted at 6:20 PM on Tuesday, February 12th, 2019

If you are seeing her the day after, I would give her a little something then.

Married 11 years
D-Day in October 2016
2 kids- 10 and 8

posts: 400   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2017   ·   location: Caribou, ME
id 8328335
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