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Was in an accident and still berated by my nex

Hurtandbroken987 posted 11/14/2019 09:00 AM

So I was in a pretty vicious accident this weekend. My vehicle slipped out from under me in the snow, did a 360 and slammed head first into a brick wall. I’m fine other than being sore and will sit here now and say that my truck saved my life. I was shocked at the damage and do not understand how I walked away mostly unscathed. I am also extremely grateful it was only me involved in the accident, well, other than the wall anyway. Point of this post is what happened with my nex when I had to call her about child care arrangements. See I didn’t have a car anymore so I had to call and ask her to come get my son. When I told her about the accident, she started freaking out…I was not surprised by this behavior as I have seen it many times in the past. Exaggeration is talent of hers. But what followed was amazing to me in that I can’t believe I was married to this person and didn’t see who she really was. First thing she started to tell me was that I NEEDED to go to the ER. Well, I was down that road at the accident scene and could’ve went after I was asked by the police if I needed medical. I declined, I just wanted to go home to my kids. I was in a bit of shock to say the least that night and as I’m on the phone, my tone and demeanor was light hearted. It was just my way of coping with what happened. I was almost giddy in a sense that I was laughing a bit when I would speak about what happened. Well holy shit, that was not the right attitude to have when talking to her apparently. She started to unload on me about “Why are you laughing at me?” “You thin this is a joke?” “I’m trying to help you and you’re laughing at me!” I insisted nothing was funny and kept declining her request go to the ER. She was almost demanding I be seen. She seems to forget she doesn’t control my life anymore. The more I said no, the more angry she got. She hung up on me… So me calling to ask her to come get my son in the morning turned into this being about her and what I was doing wrong. See the pattern here?

I ended up calling her back to make sure I had confirmation she’d pick up my son. Ok yes, then she started in again about the ER and said she was coming over with child care so SHE could take ME to the ER. What? Who the fuck are you? You’re the woman who cared so much about me a few months back that you snuck the guy you’re fucking into MY HOUSE while I was asleep in the basement and our kids were in their rooms feet away from your infidelity. Now you’re concerned about me? Fuck you. Since the temp order she’s not allowed in my house so the child care she brought came in and said I should go to the ER. I declined repeatedly and she finally left. Then I was told via text “Fuck you, you’re stubborn and selfish, have my son ready at 7:30”

So to summarize, I called the nex to say I was in an accident and asked if she could pick up my son and was attacked and berated for not wanting to give in to her demands. And now I’m out a vehicle and starting to question my existence because it’s clear to me now that some cosmic force wants me gone. So… yeah.

EDIT: I went to the ER the next day on MY terms and all tests came back fine. I'm sore as hell but I'll survive.

[This message edited by Hurtandbroken987 at 9:10 AM, November 14th (Thursday)]

MamaDragon posted 11/14/2019 09:07 AM

Sorry about your truck, but it served you well and saved you from major injury! but...I can honestly say that I too would urge you to go to the ER but only bc I've seen the smallest wrecks end up with serious injury...BUT if you said No, I'd let it lie.

She probably got a dose of reality by realizing you could have died and freaked out. It doesn't make sense but well...you have established she does not think rationally. She did go overboard, and you handled it perfectly.

Just chalk her reaction to the phase of the moon.

ChamomileTea posted 11/14/2019 09:35 AM

...it’s clear to me now that some cosmic force wants me gone.

Statements like that are typically brought on by depression. It colors our POV so completely. When you reframe... "some cosmic force wants me alive and well" because an incident like that could've gone the other way, you know?

Give those negative thoughts some sass. Talk back to them. Check them for accuracy and then correct them. It helps, truly it does.

Strength to you.

homewrecked2011 posted 11/23/2019 10:26 AM

**But what followed was amazing to me in that I can’t believe I was married to this person and didn’t see who she really was.**

Ah, you are turning a corner. Your mind is starting to see reality.
You married a very sick person.
Your kids 100% need you to dig deep, stay the course, and be there for them.

The OW in my case cheated on her first H, in 1997. He murdered the OM (his boss, and friend, btw) then killed himself. He left a 1 year old daughter.
FF 12 years. OW moves to my city, remarries, meets my XWH at our kids event, gets us all to be friends, as no one knows her history. After knowing the pain she has caused already in her life, she starts cheating with my H, in my house, and her house when the spouses are at work.

Who the fuck does that???? A very, very sick person. I realized my death would not affect my H and her at all. I found out her history online, as her first BS was a firefighter and the OM was the fire captain, so there was a huge outpouring of support at the funeral with fire trucks from all over the state of WI. I guess she enjoyed all the attention.

If I died would it even faze them? Nope. They are that sick.

My love for my kids is greater than my hate for them.

F**k my xh and ow! Seeing my kids grow up is my reward, my joy and those 2 sick mfers are absolutely not going to take it away from me! My kids need me. And ,hurt987, your wife is gonna play head games with your kids. Get them and you all the help you want.


Tallgirl posted 11/23/2019 10:45 AM

Hab987
So glad you are doing well. That sounds incredibly lucky.

I would have had the same reaction. Go to ER. And if you said no, I would have been worried.

At least she showed some humanity even if Her approach and anger is a highly flawed.

It is confirmation that you are going in the right direction. On your own.

Keep well.

Hopeful30 posted 11/23/2019 13:02 PM

So either she was scared that something bad may have happened to you, which would impact her free time, and/or she was pissed that she couldn’t control you going to the ER.

Either way, you are good, the kids weren’t with you, and she will learn to get over it.

Win-win for you!!!

Glad you were ok.

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