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Divorce proposal

Phcj123 posted 11/30/2019 08:36 AM

So angry right now and need to vent. Emailed husband my divorce proposal and he didn’t respond. He just brought it up in person. He had cheated on me 2 months ago and left. We have joint custody of 15 month old. I make a lot more than him but he makes a decent salary. He is in debt though in which I had made the mistake of paying off some of his debt when married with my own work bonuses argh. I paid almost all expenses when married. He paid cable/internet, car insurance and food. I proposed to give him nothing but not ask for child support. He just came by and said he put some payments in to the car so I said ok fine give me a breakout of payments and I’ll reimburse you. He then said he put time and effort in to our 8 year relationship and to pay for our expensive lifestyle. What the heck !? So I should pay for his effort ? He asked if we can get coffee to discuss. I emailed my lawyer to ask. He can’t afford a lawyer. I said “I paid for phone bill that u used to call ur new gf so will u pay me back?” So angry !

BearlyBreathing posted 11/30/2019 10:15 AM

What a jerk. He’s definitely working hard to make sure you know exactly who he is. Deep breaths. You’ll be out of this soon. Glad you got your lawyer involved.

rebplay posted 11/30/2019 10:17 AM

Phcj123- oh crap, he’s being dirty. I too am glad you have an attorney to help you through this. Especially with a wayward playing games. I’m so sorry. Like you owe him anything..... NOT!

Phcj123 posted 11/30/2019 15:18 PM

So crazy how someone you shared your life with and loved could just turn on you so strongly. I had started to move on from the cheating and was doing ok but now this just threw another wrench. Can’t believe he would ask for more after he knows how much I took care of him. If anything he should be paying me back geez !

The1stWife posted 12/2/2019 06:53 AM

I’m sorry you are facing this ugliness. He clearly is grasping at straws to keep his lifestyle intact. He knows what he will lose. And he’s fighting to keep control.

I have a good friend who makes a ton of $. Married to a serial cheater. For years her “corporate America” H did not work because he wanted to be an artist. She supported it. But no longer. She finally kicked him out. She made him generous settlement offers which he declined. He wants more and more and doesn’t want to miss out on one penny “he thinks he deserves” from her. He’s going to lose - we all know it. He just thinks he’s “ right” and she “owes him”. He’s looking to save face. He wants his fancy car and sports tickets and lifestyle. Without having to pay for it. The CH now has a job and pays no CS or alimony. His STBXW wants nothing from him. He continues to just be a thorn in her side b/c he can.

Maybe your plan now is to revise your settlement offer (via your attorney) to a less generous offer. Less $ or something. If he cannot afford an attorney he will realize he has NO leverage. And will hopefully take the settlement offer and go away.

Sorry you will have to co-parent with him but I know you will survive this.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 6:55 AM, December 2nd (Monday)]

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