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Is there something in the water?

Adlham posted 12/2/2019 22:55 PM


So I hang out on Twitter for my social media needs. I don't Facebook except for with my newfound family in Australia, I don't Instagram or Snapchat or any of the other apps out there.

And I don't chat. I have a couple of stae-related groups I belong to as we work towards improving our state, but other than that, I just don't chat.

For some reason, 2 different* men followed me and sent me a private message. I reply that I'm married. They want to know if I'm on WhatsApp. No, I'm not and I also state I have no interest in chatting. 1 of them seemed to accept all of that and rolled with it. The other starts asking if I have some other app (no).

And then, get this: that asshats had the fucking audacity to TELL me to get whatsapp through my cell number.

Excuse me? What fucking part of "I'm married," and "I'm not interested in chatting," is unclear?

Not only that, but who the fuck does he think he is, TELLING me to do anything?

So I simply said "That is not going to happen."

And of course, I'm completely triggered because of my DV history. I know I'm overreacting on some level, not that I'm going to change. He should be thankful I was that polite.

Who the fuck does that to a complete stranger who tells you they are married and don't chat?

I just want to kick something.

Edit: forgot to add *I'm not entirely sure it's two different men as they both were a tad pushy, both said they were widowed, and both asked about WhatsApp. All in the span of the 2 hours. So I'm suspicious.

[This message edited by Adlham at 10:56 PM, December 2nd (Monday)]

allusions posted 12/3/2019 01:33 AM

I'm a fan big of blocking unknown people. I get a lot of Facebook friend requests from men I don't know. I delete them and flag them as spam. I don't know what Twitter offers as far as blocking people.

Lalagirl posted 12/3/2019 06:05 AM

I'm a fan big of blocking unknown people.

Same - I do not give them the satisfaction of responding - they seem to like this whether it's a positive or negative reaction.

These trolls will message tons of people all at once - they figure if they get even one to bite, jackpot!

I do agree it is unnerving and given your trauma history, I get how it triggers you. I tend to get these types of messages on IG - I just block - probably one a day. There are also randoms that just follow you and don't message - I block them as well...

Hugs honey...

Edited for typo

[This message edited by Lalagirl at 6:06 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday)]

Chaos posted 12/3/2019 07:21 AM

Yup. I get these daily. I hit delete/block immediately.

To them - any response, even "no" is still a response and you've played their game.

Adlham posted 12/3/2019 07:54 AM

Oh yeah, definitely blocked.

It's just weird and really annoying. And pushed my dial up to 11.

I don't usually get these types of messages. My profile is pretty clear about my attitude & purpose. It's actually borderline rude, if I'm honest. Nowhere does it indicate that I'm available & DTF.

Truly, you'd think retired maenad would be off putting, considering how they liked to tear people apart in a wild frenzy. No one reads the classics anymore.

Plus, my picture is obviously of my children, which just adds another layer of creepy that I'm just not going to touch because my head will explode.

Pushy people who can't take no for an answer really send me over the edge. And I don't get these types of followers, like maybe a few times a year, but I ended up with 3 in a single day which just makes me suspicious and angry.

Oh well, joke's on them. I don't use my real name there, either. Literally the only person, outside of my husband, in the world who could identify that account as me is my dad and he's been dead for many years.

Honestly, if they're looking for dates, why don't they go to a site where that is the purpose?

cocoplus5nuts posted 12/3/2019 08:16 AM

It's very possible it's not even a man looking to chat. Could very well be some scammer phishing.

Do not respond. Block and delete. I wonder if there's a way to turn off random friend requests.

Adlham posted 12/3/2019 08:34 AM

Coco, I considered the scam angle, too. The only reason the first 2 might be different people is that 1 of them didn't come across as English being his first language.

The 3rd guy, I didn't even give the time of day. Like I said, it's really obvious about my purpose there. The reason I typically follow back is because I would think they are on the same page. By and large, the majority of people who follow me have the same purpose.

This sort of stuff doesn't usually happen to me and I like it that way.

The only way to block new people is to lock down my account to where they can request to follow and I can decide whether or not they can follow me.

I'm not that important. I just need to get more picky about my vetting. I'm pretty strict already, but obviously I need to up my standards on that.

I try to keep information about myself to a minimum but I think I'm going to update my profile to make it super clear that I'm married and who I am married to. Though we all know that some people view that as a challenge rather than a deterrent.

nothisfriend posted 12/3/2019 08:43 AM

I get this on Instagram regularly. Not a lot, maybe one per week, but they are always single "devoted family" men. I immediately block them. I was having strange men follow my account and try to send private messages so I switched the account to Private. Now they can only send me requests to follow.

likeapinball posted 12/3/2019 09:21 AM

I get follow requests all the time on IG, mostly men but some women that look like they're personal trainers. Delete!

Adlham posted 12/3/2019 18:27 PM

I'm just floored by how pushy they got, especially the one who told me to get whatsapp.

It's one thing to ask. It's entirely another to demand after being told I'm not interested.

I don't do well with pushy people. It hits my freak out button. Plus, it's just super offensive.

I appreciate all of you so much. I feel very supported and it really means a lot to me!

Thank you all so very, very much!

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