Hi All, haven’t been around much, but hope you’re all doing well.
I could use a little advice and thought maybe y’all have been through something similar.
To catch you up, I am divorced as of recently, and as far as the custody goes he gets the kids one night a week. Up until two months ago he had only taken them 8 nights in the last year. This was totally fine with me because I don’t feel that he is a good influence on them and he is a selfish person and I’m worried they’ll get hurt more. That whole momma bear thing I guess.
Now, he is living with a new girlfriend and things have changed drastically.
First, he wants them over a lot, asking for extra time, and is basically a “Disneyland dad”. They go over and it’s all fantastically fun stuff and they have a blast, zero parenting happening and then come home to be kind of off. Because here they are required to go to bed before 3 am, they have to help out, they basically are living real life here and going on vacation there. They adore his girlfriend, and think she’s amazing.
Now, our separation agreement states he has to have the kids in an “appropriate location” and when he first moved in with her I told him no sleepovers and he agreed.
But then .... he told the kids they were going camping and took them to his apartment instead and didn’t tell me until that night when they were already there and settled. I didn’t feel like I could demand he unsettle them and bring them home, because that would have really upset the kids. I talked to them and they were comfortable and okay. I was blindsided.
Things seemed to go well and so I let them go back the following week, and when I picked them up I found out that the girlfriends mom lives with them too. Which I don’t know how I feel about, but basically I don’t appreciate finding things out after the fact.
So this weekend they went and it’s a small two bedroom apt. (He told the kids he’s moving into a huge house next month) but for now the mother has one room and him and gf share the other. The sleeping arrangements were that my daughter slept in bed with him and gf. .........Um........what?!?!
WHAT?!?!?!
My daughter thought it was fun, but I am so uncomfortable with that. I mean, who does that?! In what world is that appropriate?!!?
So help me here. Am I being an overprotective mom that needs to accept that I can’t control things? Or do I need to totally flip? Because I’m really upset but I have made a point to never engage with him when upset but to sit back and cool off and make sure I can win every argument sent my way.