SurvivingInfidelity.com® > Divorce/Separation

Exod1414 posted 12/20/2019 13:06 PM

My apologies, this is going to be long. I haven't been on in a while, and I already know this is going to turn into a huge information dump.

WW filed divorce Mar 29 asking for modification of CS, also. We had a temp hearing July 31, after a continuance for me hire an attorney, where she was granted the modification. I knew she would get it, but her complaint didn't state grounds the law allowed and it was granted on grounds she didn't assert, so I plan to appeal if it's incorporated into a final order. Because of it, I've been forced to work 50+ hours of OT every pay period to meet the obligation. Daycare expenses are awarded fully, regardless of the guideline amounts. I struggled to make the payments initially, and got behind, but am not paying more than the ordered amount.

The judge imposed "standard" parenting rules and restrictions, kept custody status quo, but I did get additional visitation time.

We both then served Discovery on the other at the end of August. In the end, my attorney and I decided it was best she withdraw as I couldn't pay her, but she did an amazing job of holding off my WW's attorney while she prepared me to proceed pro se. During that time, my kids revealed their mother, WW, had coached them for 18mo to hide her A and AP living with them from me.

My kids tell me they aren't fed well, and are punished by being sent to bed without food. WW has allowed her AP to hit my children, and when I found out and confronted her, she proceeded to coach the children again that he hadn't, he only "tapped" them. And they've been having behavioral issues at school, such that they had to call WW a few times. I contacted my kids' school guidance counselor. She said the things I told her shed light on statements she recalled my daughter making in the past. The school then referred my kids to counseling.

Next month we have hearings. They filed contempt due to the CS, which I can show no willfulness not to comply. I have eviction letters, and disconnect notices, and I'm sure the judge won't rule me in contempt. I filed contempt because the judge's order includes a morality clause, and a prohibition on 3rd parties disciplining the children, both of which she violated. I've also had to file to compel discovery. All three matters are being heard on the same day. I'm also filing an amended counterclaim for custody.

I'm typing this at work, so I may have to post and come back to this, but ...

TKOGA posted 12/20/2019 13:22 PM

I'm so, so sorry for everything you're going through. Sending you and your children strength.

nekonamida posted 12/20/2019 15:21 PM

Exodus, this sounds like a complete nightmare. Take good care of yourself and don't give up. Your kids are worth it.

The1stWife posted 12/21/2019 05:35 AM

I’m so sorry for you and your children.

I hope the hearing ends up in your favor. Sending you luck and prayers and anything else to get the judge to rule in your favor.

You should win based on the co-habitation clause alone. She violated it. Hopefully the kids can testify to that.

homewrecked2011 posted 12/21/2019 14:33 PM

To help prove the cohabitation, my friend and a friend rented a car, and took a photo of the OW going into her XH house at night, and videoed the car never left... with a witness, it held up in court.

NoOptTo posted 12/22/2019 06:51 AM

You said that you contacted your children's school counselor and they recommended counseling for your kids. Need they even mention contacting child protective services? Beside for the hitting of the children, they are set off to bed without being feed is a MAJOR red flag in my world.