I am new to this forum, posted my story recently on just found out.
I see no way to reconcile with my WH, which means we are on the path to divorce. But I am struggling. I am in such grief and constant anxiety that I can barely eat, sleep, function.
Trying to take care of our 3 kids, deal with the holidays, and play out/ talk about all the future logistics is more than I can bare. Additionally we did tell our kids we would be separating and likely divorcing, and did fill them in on the age appropriate “why”, because 1) there’s no way to hide what’s going on when I’m crying most hours of the day 2) they heard part of the initial argument when I found out 3) Telling the truth is important rather than just saying “it didn’t work out”. They need to understand that marriage is a commitment to each other and to a family, one that we would never break unless there was basically no other choice. We put it as dad got involved with someone else, and that’s not ok in a marriage...there needs to be trust in a relationship for it to work, and dad has made decisions that hurt moms trust, and hurt mom, lots of times. He needs to work on himself and get better, and the best way to do that is apart.
But they are devastated too now, which makes me question if we should’ve waited or handled differently. They don’t give you an instruction manual on how to properly handle any single part of this, especially when it comes to the kids.
I’m just beside myself and don’t know how to find the strength to actually start untangling a 13 year marriage with three kids involved. The kids are by far my biggest consideration and I want to keep things as stable as possible for them, but don’t know how to do that. Everyone keeps telling me at a minimum I should stay in our house we just built, because we just literally built and moved into it last year this time. It was a big change for them at the time, moving houses and schools etc. to have to uproot them all over again into another living situation would be so much more awful. But... what if I can’t afford to stay here? I can cover the payment and utilities etc... but not sure about the total picture of everything else.
I don’t know. I’m all over the place and just a mess and need to know how to find the strength to move forward. Any encouragement you can offer would be so appreciated.