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3greatkids (original poster member #69847) posted at 2:44 AM on Thursday, December 26th, 2019
Can anyone explain how you cheat and lie and be violent for 26 years of a 25 year marriage but still demand access to the kids 24/7/holidays? Why would you want to be a law breaking morally bankrupt influence on encouraging them to grow up with no morals, no respect for boundaries, emotionally stunted and full of destructive life habits?
You want to destroy yourself? Fine
You destroyed me, fine
But for gods sake, why are you intent on destroying the innocent children?
Narcissistic piece of absolute shit
You can’t get blood from a turnip...or remorse from a narcissist.
A lifetime of betrayals, not “just” 5.
I know my worth.
demolishedinside ( member #47839) posted at 2:48 AM on Thursday, December 26th, 2019
Right. Because if he wasn’t self-aware and able to put anyone before himself before, he’s not going to change now.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. Prayers to you and your kids.
BS - me/3 kids
DD - April 2015 / SA-Jan. 28, 2017
DD2- October 23, 2018
Divorced and happy
skeetermooch ( member #72169) posted at 3:18 AM on Thursday, December 26th, 2019
Control. They want what they want when they want it, care nothing for the morality and safety and well-being of their children - children are possessions.
I'm sorry he sucks so much.
Me: BS 56 on DDay 1 - 7/2019 DIVORCED - 1/2021
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 10:47 AM on Thursday, December 26th, 2019
How old are your kids? Do they get a say in whether they go or not?
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
Lalagirl ( member #14576) posted at 5:11 PM on Friday, December 27th, 2019
Control. They want what they want when they want it, care nothing for the morality and safety and well-being of their children - children are possessions.
^^^THIS.
Is there anything legal with regard to visitation/custody? If not, please get this done asap. When narcs lose control, they ramp up the crazy (you thought he was crazy before)...please be safe for yours and the kidlets' sakes.
(((((3greatkids)))))
2025: Me-59 FWH-61 Married 41 years grown daughters- 41 & 37. 1 GS,11yo GD & 9yo GD (DD40); Five grands ages 15 to 8. D-day #1-1/06; D-day #2-3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 5:24 PM on Friday, December 27th, 2019
(((3greatkids))) Sorry you have to deal with one like this!
The narcopaths are a breed of no other. My STBXNarc said let's see what the kids decide while acting like father of the year (like it's some kind of popularity contest).
I know your frustration. Every time I see my STBX try to pull 'The better parent' act it makes me sick to my stomach because he was nowhere to be found all the years I had the hard work of raising kids. Now that they are older he steps in for the fun. Assholes they are!!!
[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 12:04 PM, December 27th (Friday)]
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
Cheatee ( member #59284) posted at 8:44 PM on Friday, December 27th, 2019
If you can imagine the mental gymnastics involved in cheating on someone, but having to convince yourself it is justified, then go a little further and you'll find a cheater justifying they are a good, moral and ethical person, perhaps one that did a minor bad thing, perhaps not.
Their transference of responsibility to the betrayed spouse is strong and they see themselves as "rescuing" the children from the person who drove them to cheat.
Right now, my ex is really angry at me, for dating just a few months after we split. Apparently, it really hurt her feelings. She's angry at me for being selfish after a year's failed attempt at reconciliation, thinking of my own pain instead of her "cry for help."
I swear this is the most fucked up thinking that keeps perpetuating itself far beyond the increasingly insignificant act of forbidden sex.
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