SurvivingInfidelity.com® > Divorce/Separation

3greatkids posted 12/25/2019 20:44 PM

Can anyone explain how you cheat and lie and be violent for 26 years of a 25 year marriage but still demand access to the kids 24/7/holidays? Why would you want to be a law breaking morally bankrupt influence on encouraging them to grow up with no morals, no respect for boundaries, emotionally stunted and full of destructive life habits?

You want to destroy yourself? Fine
You destroyed me, fine

But for gods sake, why are you intent on destroying the innocent children?

Narcissistic piece of absolute shit

demolishedinside posted 12/25/2019 20:48 PM

Right. Because if he wasn’t self-aware and able to put anyone before himself before, he’s not going to change now.

I’m so sorry you are going through this. Prayers to you and your kids.

skeetermooch posted 12/25/2019 21:18 PM

Control. They want what they want when they want it, care nothing for the morality and safety and well-being of their children - children are possessions.

I'm sorry he sucks so much.

The1stWife posted 12/26/2019 04:47 AM

How old are your kids? Do they get a say in whether they go or not?

Lalagirl posted 12/27/2019 11:11 AM

Control. They want what they want when they want it, care nothing for the morality and safety and well-being of their children - children are possessions.

^^^THIS.

Is there anything legal with regard to visitation/custody? If not, please get this done asap. When narcs lose control, they ramp up the crazy (you thought he was crazy before)...please be safe for yours and the kidlets' sakes.

(((((3greatkids)))))

crazyblindsided posted 12/27/2019 11:24 AM

(((3greatkids))) Sorry you have to deal with one like this!

The narcopaths are a breed of no other. My STBXNarc said let's see what the kids decide while acting like father of the year (like it's some kind of popularity contest).

I know your frustration. Every time I see my STBX try to pull 'The better parent' act it makes me sick to my stomach because he was nowhere to be found all the years I had the hard work of raising kids. Now that they are older he steps in for the fun. Assholes they are!!!

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 12:04 PM, December 27th (Friday)]

Cheatee posted 12/27/2019 14:44 PM

If you can imagine the mental gymnastics involved in cheating on someone, but having to convince yourself it is justified, then go a little further and you'll find a cheater justifying they are a good, moral and ethical person, perhaps one that did a minor bad thing, perhaps not.

Their transference of responsibility to the betrayed spouse is strong and they see themselves as "rescuing" the children from the person who drove them to cheat.

Right now, my ex is really angry at me, for dating just a few months after we split. Apparently, it really hurt her feelings. She's angry at me for being selfish after a year's failed attempt at reconciliation, thinking of my own pain instead of her "cry for help."

I swear this is the most fucked up thinking that keeps perpetuating itself far beyond the increasingly insignificant act of forbidden sex.