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2nd poly was today

layla1234 posted 1/11/2020 20:49 PM

I've been mostly reading and lurking since deciding on divorce with WH. I started the process and it sort of stalled because of a few things. I can generally tolerate him for the most part and our daughters are pretty crazy about him. He has kept his anger under control for about 3 months now since he started with a new counselor.

I feel like I got a lot of closure today. He never had a physical relationship with her. He is one of the unicorns. He has passed that question twice now (once a year ago and again today). He hasn't had any contact with her since he left his job. I'm sure that the affair has been over for at least a year and he feels nothing towards her anymore.

I'm still the only person he has ever been with and that was always the most special part of our relationship for me. How many people can say that?? If that is still in tact, I know this could still turn out to be an amazing love story that our daughters would envy. He just needs to do the work. I need him to be forthright and honest from here on out.

My feelings for him are not the same as they once were and I'm not sure if I'll ever love him again. We are definitely starting over from scratch after the most recent revelation of more details. But I think I'll be OK with that. I'm hoping I'll be OK with that. I've got some positives to work with. He's not a serial. He's done lying (we'll see). I am really hoping this is it.

crazyinlove1995 posted 1/11/2020 22:04 PM

I hope he continues on the path that you are hoping for.Great that he passed the polygraph. Don't be like me,put the boundaries in place and Do Not waver.

Buzzy posted 1/12/2020 03:49 AM

That is so good to hear, please give it a good shot.

My W and I are MH and we came to the brink of disaster, i treated my W appalingly because as she strayed first that gave me the right.

Some good people on here gave me a deserved smack around the head and i stopped that shit.

Now i just smile when she walks in the room and as for our love life just WOW

Give the silly bugger a chance even if he does not deserve it, adversity can pull people together.

Good luck

[This message edited by Buzzy at 3:49 AM, January 12th (Sunday)]

Tallgirl posted 1/12/2020 05:34 AM

Really Glad you have closure Layla..

It takes courage to try again. Can I suggest that you write out what you expect and need to be happily married. Iíd share and discuss this with him. It should include dealbreakers.

You can use this list as a health check, and you know where you need to work if you see an area that isnít as strong.

I wish you happiness.

layla1234 posted 1/12/2020 19:48 PM

Thank you all.

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