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Blackheart11419 (original poster member #72500) posted at 7:41 PM on Sunday, January 12th, 2020
So I have been reading the healing library and it is helping me realize that my WS has been doing just more then I thought but the one thing I need to do is focus on me at this moment. I need to stop focusing on the past and start working towards a more positive attitude and acceptance. Once I got those two step down then I can move forward with the healing process.
Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 11:32 PM on Sunday, January 12th, 2020
No better time than the present to focus on yourself! 
fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~
pink carnation ( member #34310) posted at 2:55 PM on Monday, January 13th, 2020
Be very gentle and kind to yourself. I remember someone telling me that early on, from this great site.
We are all here too.
2010 was Ddays galore and my INDEPENDENCE! Happily remarried to someone else!
Someone who cannot clearly choose you, is not worth you time or your tears.
Don't pass up on the chance on a do over, when it is handed to you on a silver
Blackheart11419 (original poster member #72500) posted at 6:36 PM on Monday, January 13th, 2020
I am being careful with myself. I am looking for ways to make me feel better and make my feel like I am myself again.
thatbpguy ( member #58540) posted at 6:55 PM on Monday, January 13th, 2020
You DO like yourself because you are a faithful and trustworthy person.
From there, focus on things you like to do and pleases you.
ME: BH Her: WW DDay 1, R; DDay 2, R; DDay 3, I left; Divorced Remarried to a wonderful woman
"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." C.S. Lewis
As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly...
Blackheart11419 (original poster member #72500) posted at 4:56 AM on Sunday, January 26th, 2020
I am actually in the process to forgive myself about losing myself and how I did nothing wrong. Everyone can say I did something wrong but the truth is I DID NOTHING wrong. I look back on it and I could have treated him a little different and not get so angry at him. I had some time to myself and it was great. We are living together again but in separate rooms.
OwningItNow ( member #52288) posted at 8:20 PM on Sunday, January 26th, 2020
Everyone can say I did something wrong but the truth is I DID NOTHING wrong.
Your husband's family is toxic. I do not see how you can be mentally well with these hateful people in the picture. If your WH values your R, he will stop telling them anything. They use it as ammo against you even though he is the f'd up one.
[This message edited by OwningItNow at 2:21 PM, January 26th (Sunday)]
me: BS/WS h: WS/BS
Reject the rejector. Do not reject yourself.
Blackheart11419 (original poster member #72500) posted at 11:50 PM on Sunday, January 26th, 2020
OwningItNow I know they are toxic which is why 2020+ I will have nothing to do with them. They can't get a hold of me or contact me on my social media websites. After Thanksgiving and Christmas of last year every family gathering if its not at my house I'm not going plus every year they skip my birthday but remember his, get him something for birthday and christmas and nothing for me, and I'm tired of them acting friendly in my face but say shit to my H behind my back. They will reap what they sow.
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