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Valentineís Day strikes again

MessyT posted 2/14/2020 04:42 AM

Well here is another Valentineís Day. After dday I refused to even celebrate this day after an epic V day where he completely forgot about me and concentrated on sending money to the OW. He also used a particular ecard site to send valentines to his OWs.

I have told him several times about how he ruined this day forever through his thoughtless actions and how he should never ever send me ecards through this ecard site again.

Last year things were fine and then this year he fucks it up all over again. He forgets to get flowers and then rushes out last minute to do so and forgets to buy me a card so sends one through the ecard site. Both of these actions are extremely painful to me as they bring back so many horrible emotions from this day in 2016.

Then I go to work and get fucked over again. I thought I was doing so well with a promotion and all the praise I had been getting but well when the money bonuses were paid I got half as much as other colleagues my equal. When I questioned why mine was lower all I can get told by my boss was that she fucked up and she didnít realize I was so badly treated. Leaving me unappreciated and wondering why I give so much to a place that undervalues me so much. I guess money talks and words are just fuck talk.

Now this day sucks big time and will take me another fucking age to get over it all over again.

backnforth posted 2/14/2020 04:58 AM

Im sorry your day has not been so good. Unfortunately a day of showering your significant other with love and vice versa has pain associated with a lot of us for different reasons. Ive been dresding today...its my first after dday and all i can think of is whats he getting OW, are they going out...things were different last year. Its not a good feeling.
I say try as much to put the negative out of your mind, smell your flowers, forget that sometimes spouses can be dodo's when it comes to meaningful dates. Maybe even talk to him about this later on...think of something nice to do with him?
As far as your boss, since she messed up so badly make sure to pressure her on resolving that issue. Dont let it go! Hugs. I hope your day turns around!

MalibuBayBreeze posted 2/14/2020 07:39 AM

Hi MessyT! It's been a while. I was hoping you were doing well and am sorry to see you dealing with more disappointment.

As for Valentine's Day, I don't think many here are looking forward to this day. The precipatory anxiety has been building in me.

All I can suggest is you make the day about those you love. Your kids. Your family. Most of all YOURSELF. Do something nice for you. Get yourself some flowers, buy yourself something, get a manicure, pamper yourself. It's what I plan on doing.

It's just a day. A stupid day filled with disappointment for the most part so instead of expecting anything from him, expect it from yourself. Because you will never let yourself down.

Big hugs to you sweetie! ❤

Marie2792 posted 2/14/2020 08:52 AM

Itís good to see you again! Although Iím sorry you are struggling today.

To me this is just a stupid commercial holiday, second only behind Christmas. But I understand it matters to a lot of people and I donít discount that.

I have learned that I cannot the mr happiness to the tail of someone else kite. I have to do my best to make my days fulfilled without depending on someone else. And yes that came after being hurt by my husband.

So...get yourself a manicure; hair color, new pair of shoes or some fresh cut flowers and enjoy Friday. Donít look at it as Valentines Day. Here in NY are kids are preparing for a week off school starting Monday so Iím looking forward to that.

SheWrote posted 2/14/2020 15:08 PM

Hey there. So sorry for all that you are feeling. It is hard to move past things, especially when it seems so many things just remind us all over again of what happened and all of the pain and anger. But, we have an opportunity to heal and move past it and move on. This is the only way, especially if you are working on your relationship. If you aren't going to forgive and move on, then it might never be good again. And, you also have a choice to not let the "day" affect you in a negative way. It is just a day, and you will get through it. Maybe try not to place so much on it and see what happens. You will get through this, and life will be good... believe and give it a chance. HUGS!

DebraVation posted 2/14/2020 15:24 PM

We both ignored it. And I am caught between relief and feeling pissed off that he ignored it.

It is so hard, every day life is hard without 'special' days. Just keep going. Tomorrow is Feb 15th and we can carry on as normal.

TheLostOne2020 posted 2/14/2020 15:30 PM

My WW got me a box of chocolates.

I got my WW what she gave to my soul on New Year's - an empty void of nothingness.

somanyyears posted 2/14/2020 16:23 PM


.."Tomorrow is February 15th..." and all the chocolate is 70% OFF..

smy

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