SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I’m not sure when my D day was. The day I realized what was going on or the day I actually caught them together. Either way it’s been about a year.

I still keep up with the OW on social to see what she’s up to and to make sure there is no location correlation between my husband and her (under a fake account obviously).

Last year use used to put stuff on her IG stories of nonsense things daily. Quotes and bragging stuff. Now she rarely posts anything. I like to think she’s just sad that the perfect world she envisioned with my husband didn’t work out in her favor. Anyone else still check up on the AP?

No, but I'm 5 years out. I did check up on the MOW as much as I could for the first couple of years, probably. Then, we moved across the country and she was of absolutely no concern anymore. I did check on her once right after we moved back to the same area about 1.5 years ago. There's not much for me to see. She blocked me on all of her stuff when my H told her I was looking way back in the beginning.

I did hear that she had deleted her FB account years ago to appease her BH. From what I can gather now, they are divorced. 😁 That does bring me some joy. They didn't have any children together.

OH MAN. Since you asked, I never think about her unless something pops up. It will never really be gone, ya know?

Anyway, last July she sent me a friend request on FB. Really? Shes a stupid bitch. I ignored it, but since she popped up I took the opportunity to see what was going on. (I cant tell you how many pages I stalk to get the info. I like a complete picture)I know her and OBS had gotten a D. She was involved/living with another guy. All posts about how she was finally happy and how great everything was. OBS was also involved with another lady, good for him. He seemed like a nice guy and was truly broken by the A. I ignored the friend request, but chuckled every time I logged onto FB and it was still there. It went away after a few months.

Anyway, this March 7th(the Antiversary) the thought popped into my head to check in again to see if she was going to get to live happily ever after after participating in the destruction of two M's. OBS still with his lady, living the good life. Made me smile. But OW BF was DEAD! WHOA! Apparently it had just happened a couple weeks before in February and it was sudden and unexpected. Just a week or so before that she was posting about her happiness and peace. There were expressions of sympathy online from friends and relatives. But OW was very quiet about it on social media. Her replies were short and odd. More of an emphasis on how she was alone again. Almost like shes angry, not sad. After thinking about it for a minute, Id be willing to bet it was a suicide. Broken attracts broken, no?

I feel bad someone is dead. I do. But I hope she is scarred for life. No sympathy for her. Sorry, not sorry.

Anyone else still check up on the AP?

I divorced my XWW and was never really interested in reconciliation with her.

Prior to filing for divorce though, I blocked pretty much every single person that had anything to do with her and her betrayal with the exception of some of her family that I still have some degree of a relationship with.

Social media seems to be designed almost exclusively to enable and amplify narcissism as well as being conduit for seemingly normal people to anonymously vent their self-righteous indignation to an audience they have no accountability to.

In other words, social media is basically shit.

Infidelity is a phony fantasy land where the adultery partners view each other as perfection in order to cover up the ugly and gross reality of how fucked up and despicable it is.

Social media can be very much the same.

I would strongly recommend blocking the AP and everyone else associated with them and move on with your life.

.."I feel bad someone is dead. I do."

I don't !!!!!

..bfOM got exactly what he had coming. A slow, miserable death that he couldn't ignore as being just what his actions and betrayal warranted.

His parents, whom I knew quite well, had to watch as his brain tumor slowly took his life. His second wife, his brother and his two sons also had to watch his decline and his last breath.

His social media came to an abrupt end April 18, 2006 with his obituary posted.

His father ,98, still lives in the same home 50+ years later. Mother, Barbara died in 2009. She was a fantastic lady as I knew her.

I check the funeral home postings for his father, with the intention of going to see OM's brother who was in on the entire 18 years of the betrayal. OM's wife and two sons will get to look me in the eyes as well!

Of course, that's only if we all survive this virus pandemic. It could be a game changer!!

"Anyone still check up on the AP?" ...

Last time I checked.... he was still dead!

smy

[This message edited by somanyyears at 8:54 AM, April 25th (Saturday)]

I.try not to check up on ow2. But I noticed she wasnt on Wh blocked fb list anymore and went to re add her. Discovered she as gotten married.

I ignored the friend request, but chuckled every time I logged onto FB and it was still there. It went away after a few months.

You can delete/ignore friend requests.

DH, why did you block the OW? Did you ask your H about why she wasn't blocked anymore?

I am actively practicing not checking anymore, I've turned it into a game in my mind.

Most days now, I win at this game, some days I lose.

I've noticed my losing days are fewer and farther between, and honestly, I do feel better when I don't look.

I keep reminding myself that she isn't someone I'd want to be. So why would I want to check up on what I consider someone who leads a train wreck life. That helps me win on most days.

I'm thankful that some quirk in my chemistry makes this one something I can do with little effort, but NO I don't check on AP. I deleted/blocked my xdipshit and all his sluts that I knew about, and really do not have the slightest desire to check up on any of them. I just have faith that Karma will make her way around and that she will punish them better than I ever could. And even if she doesn't they still have to be themselves. Poor things.

Why keep tabs on them? If they're doing well, it stings. And if they were doing shitty, I would feel bad about feeling smug.

I have not once regretted deleting and blocking them.

No I don't. I did in the beginning but not now. I blocked him and my exw on FB. He moved a few states away and frankly I give 2 shits about him.