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Xwh amd mow are getting married....

Wiserallthetime posted 6/13/2020 00:28 AM

They are apparently going to have a big to-do for it, though I wonder how many guests would attend if they knew of the origins of the relationship.... I don't know where it is happening, but I doubt any church around here that knows of how the relationship began is hosting.... Heck, I just wonder if there will be more people "on stage" than in the "audience"!! I'm actually rather blah about the whole thing, but, lately, I've been getting some entertainment out of it as well.

It seems xwh has no real guy friends to stand with him.... That is probably best for him, as mow might just take up with one or more, if he did! (I'm not even kidding....) Anyway, xwh has resorted to having his sibling and our kids stand for him, though our middle one probably won't do it.

Next is the color that has apparently been chosen for all attendants, on both sides. Mow has chosen ..... black..... yup, black! Now, we are in the south; black is for funerals, period, not weddings. My youngest even made a comment that the color choice will go with the feelings of the child's heart dying a bit that the two are actually getting married.... Sigh....
Anyway, I have enjoyed picturing how the color scheme will look, and how it will be looked back upon in later years as well. (Many of us question our younger selves choices on this, myself included, but this one.... hmmmm.....) I've also kind of enjoyed that xwh no longer has any guy friends; he doesn't deserve any - mow was supposedly my bff, obs was supposedly xwh's friend as well....too much betrayal of friendships for one to have more. I've no idea who mow is having as attendants - probably her own kids, and maybe her mom?? I doubt she has any female friends anymore - at least very few to none that have known her for long,as most all our prior social circle knows about the A and would not approve.

Meanwhile, xwh is being extra polite and nice to me recently, when I have occasion to interact (all kid related only).....and the way I hear it from the kids, he isn't actually happy with being with mow now, but is stuck, as he won't tell her it's over or to leave, or even put his foot down/enforce his boundaries on some pretty important issues.
Interesting.... glad to be out of the drama, watching from the sidelines, enjoying my popcorn....

Phoenix1 posted 6/13/2020 00:41 AM

Picture her as Morticia Adams...

BearlyBreathing posted 6/13/2020 00:50 AM

It is a funeral... the death of decency, respect, all that a good marriage represents and neither of them have.

And I hope it is held outdoors and in the hot sun :-)

[This message edited by BearlyBreathing at 12:51 AM, June 13th, 2020 (Saturday)]

fareast posted 6/13/2020 08:03 AM

I am picturing Margaret Hamilton in the Wizard of Oz, sans the hat!

Wiserallthetime posted 6/18/2020 21:22 PM

Ahhh....you guys are great!

My nickname for her is actually "Cruella deVil".... It fits in many ways....

I now know the date for the event, but not from xwh. It sort of makes me want to plan something that would involve the kids over that date, just because xwh hasn't said a peep to me about it yet. (He likely never will, either.) But, the kids are all too grown for that to work regardless, and it isn't on my parenting time either - at least he got that part right, since he wants the kids to participate.... (He's so bad about knowing what the schedule is, usually.) He will, quite obviously, be giving up some of his parenting time that weekend, but that is pretty much s moot point anyway - youngest (only one under any custody order) is not only of an age that is far too old to be holding fast to said schedule, but also has not gone with xwh/seen him since the whole lock down thing with the virus.

thebighurt posted 6/23/2020 08:51 AM

Wiserallthetime, I hope you plan something fun for yourself then. Also hope you are truly feeling good about this, as I was when xpos got M as soon as they could after D was final. My only thoughts of it were amusement.

With grown adult children who have their own families, I had no connection with whether or not they attended. One invited me to visit for a fun week that included the wedding date, so had NO interest in attending; one told him it wasn't possible to get away at that time, but MIGHT have attended if it had been possible (without the family); and the third called me, all upset, a couple of days before the wedding to tell me xpos had guilted them into standing up for him (he also has no friends to call on and also needed at least one of the children to be there, toast them, and say how happy they were! ) It was actually an apology to me for going to the wedding. I reassured that I understood and was okay with it. And I was.

So your situation sounds very familiar, just different age children with no involvement on my part. I had a very fun week with my child and family while they got committed (or should have been ). I feel she deserves him.

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