Palmetto9213 posted 6/26/2020 18:53 PM

After 18 months of separation, my divorce was final this week. I didn't expect to feel this sadness...I thought I would feel relief, joy, hope, etc. But I am realizing that this finality is the death of a dream... my dream, that I had married my lifelong lover, partner and friend. It's ok to be sad, but I will not wallow in it. I will allow myself some time to grieve this loss, but I will also hold my head high and keep healing and moving forward, knowing that it took great strength to uncouple from someone who was destroying my mental and emotional health and who felt no remorse or regret for their actions. Hope, joy and excitement are just around the corner, my future is bright and I will focus on counting my blessings and not my losses. And this site is definitely one of my blessings!

Phoenix1 posted 6/26/2020 19:02 PM

Bittersweet congrats. Welcome to your new beginning!

Onward and upward!

betrayedafter20 posted 6/26/2020 19:08 PM

Palmetto -

((hugs)) I am sorry this day must be so sad, and sorry that it had to be. Not going to tell you the blah blah about new beginnings and all that, I know you know that already.

I'm just starting the D journey and I imagine this will be how I will feel. It is heartbreaking. I mean we wouldn't be human if we didn't feel the loss - it's the complete opposite of the wedding day. My IC said on some level, grieving divorce is worse than grieving death - because the person is still alive, and the end could have been prevented by the spouse making different choices - whereas death we have no control over.

Tomorrow or in a few days maybe - you will probably feel better but you certainly are entitled to mourn the loss of those hopes and dreams. Cry a river and then get back to your new hopes and dreams. You have a great attitude and I'm glad you posted so the people that really understand can mourn with you.

Prayers sent for comfort.

Bingo posted 6/26/2020 20:24 PM

Palmetto...

I have been divorced for 3 months and I also thought I would feel relief, joy, hope, etc.

But, the reality is that we do have to mourn the death of our marriage and relationship. Most of us can't just wipe the slate clean and ride off into the sunset with a smile on our face.

A heavy heart hurts when you're riding a horse...

BearlyBreathing posted 6/26/2020 21:11 PM

Mixed congratulations- it’s so hard even when you know it was the right thing to do.
Love love love your attitude. Make room for all the emotions, but don’t let them move in.

(((Palmetto)))

dfdxb posted 6/26/2020 23:28 PM

Allow yourself to grieve. The joy will come x

99problems posted 6/28/2020 09:26 AM

I'm actually jealous, I started my journey towards divorce on father's day and am not looking forward to the waiting period.
But I understand the pain and finality of it all. May you find joy in your new life.

Palmetto9213 posted 6/28/2020 12:56 PM

Thanks for all of the support and kind words. And to others who are embarking on or who are in the midst of this path to divorce, know that you have a great resource here for when the going gets tough. A place to vent, a place to seek advice, a place to be heard. You too will get though this to the other side of D, and oh how sweet and full of peace it is!