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First day of seperation

dfdxb posted 6/26/2020 23:18 PM

So I finally got WH to leave after DDay number a zillion now. To be honest, he's mainly dropped the overly remorseful act too, just some lame apologies topped with some deflection and blame shifting attempts. It took me 2 weeks to get him out as he really tried to rug sweep and thought I'd give in like in the past. Except this time I recognize the codependency and my need to step away from his toxic shit. I don't even cry anymore. Just feel like I've given up

Saying all this, I found it a hard being alone last night. I really don't want to cave in and contact him. Any words of wisdom on how to maintain NC the first few weeks?

nekonamida posted 6/27/2020 06:46 AM

There's a thread here called "Stay NC" that you can post in what you would want to tell him. You can also write a list of everything he has done, every DDay, every lie, and read it when you feel weak.

outofsorts posted 6/27/2020 09:44 AM

One small thing that some people have done is change WS's name in their phone to "Cheating Asshole" or something similar.

BearlyBreathing posted 6/27/2020 14:52 PM

I found it helpful to keep a list of all of my exís transgressions nearby so when I got the urge to call him or text him or contact him I remembered what a complete and utter shit he had been to me and it helped with my fortitude. Journaling was also helpful. And calling friends when I really just had to let something out.

Itís hard but no contact really helps. After a couple weeks you start to feel less of the constant anxiety and walking on egg shells and that tension just start to dissolve. youíre still sad, youíre still lonely, none of that goes away right away. but that constant anxiety starts to lessen and itís really lovely.

Sending hugs. Hang in there.

dfdxb posted 6/27/2020 15:21 PM

Thank you all. I have managed to refrain from texting him today.

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