heisasadcliche posted 7/3/2020 17:45 PM

I am divorced. Financial stuff all sorted. I read some of my JFO posts just now and was struck by how bloody amazing the support I received from total strangers was. It's still crap at times but I am WAY better. Toughest bits are usually when his piss poor choices affect the kids, even as young adults they have be badly hurt by his rejection of his family. He has introduced them to her and her son. That felt wierd for a few days...wonder if he'll ever get what he's actually done? I generally just think 'you wanker' when I do have to speak with him. You lot have helped me find a much better place. X

EllieKMAS posted 7/3/2020 18:33 PM

I am so so happy for you... I had to go refresh my memory on your story too and wow you are amazing!

So glad you've pushed through and gotten clear of it!

BearlyBreathing posted 7/3/2020 18:45 PM

Bittersweet congratulations!! Glad you are healing and doing well!

fareast posted 7/3/2020 18:54 PM

Bring on the good time and some George Strait lyrics!😁. You have such a great attitude that helped see you through. I am so very pleased for you but not at all surprised. Any person who can do an 8 mile fell race with two massive climbs in crap weather can handle just about anything. You have shown your adult children how to handle yourself in a storm. Raising a pint to you in the pub!

[This message edited by fareast at 7:52 PM, July 3rd (Friday)]

Chili posted 7/3/2020 19:40 PM

There you are heisasadcliche!

I've been wondering how you were doing. Big big kudos on your divorce - I'm really certain it was really the only path forward for you to heal from this mess.

I'm also not surprised he headed straight to her and has introduced the kids like it's some fantasy land and just the most normal thing ever. Jerk.

wonder if he'll ever get what he's actually done?

Chances are he won't ever really *get* it. He might - but most likely it's fleeting while he's all alone trying to quiet his mind at night or looking in the mirror or something. Or maybe one of these days he'll wonder why his kids don't quite seem fully connected with him.

His loss.

The more you do show your strength in his presence for drop-offs or nonchalantly act bored with him, it will make him feel a little like the weakling he is.

I'm so glad you're well and I hope you're taking good care of yourself and are finding new things just for you.

Have you changed his name in your phone to "Wanker" yet?

ChamomileTea posted 7/3/2020 19:41 PM

Congratulations!!! I remember your ex... and his XXL supreme case of narcissism. I have to think it's a relief to be on the other side of that. I do feel sorry for your kids though. I can't even imagine being a young person and having to be polite and stow my thoughts about the adultery and the homewrecker. With any luck, they'll realize sooner rather than later that life is just better without toxic people in it.

The best revenge is a well-lived life. So make sure you're squeezing all the juice out of every new experience you have... and be sure to have A LOT.

((big hugs))

Bookgirl posted 7/7/2020 19:02 PM

It’s really good to hear that you are getting through this and starting to feel better. I’m also at the stage where I just think my ex is a wanker. Very sad for my kids too, but completely his loss xx