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Divorcing me worked out perfectly for him

thisisterrible posted 7/14/2020 02:23 AM

A quick, needed vent.

Yes, I know I should only be concerned with all the good things I have in my life (and I do have a lot of them and am grateful every day!) I know I shouldn't be paying attention to how other people are doing. I know XH was a cheater and things aren't always how they seem from the outside, etc.

BUT - everything worked out great for XH. He's got a new wife (not the OW), new baby on the way, a supportive family, he makes good money, etc. Basically, he made the right choice (for himself) when he walked out on me 11 years ago.

And that pisses me off.

NEWPERSON posted 7/14/2020 03:20 AM

so let me tell you, my husband did the same, cheated on first wife with another woman and I met him 2 years after their divorce(he told me about cheating when we met and that he was a changed man)

I believed him because off course people grow up and learn.So I married him 14 years later he cheated on me with his PA (ALSO NEVER STOPPED SEEING HER AFTER A YEAR OF ME FINDIND OUT).The ex-wife thought he had a perfect life with me,we had 2 kids and we holidayed over seas ...ect but in all honesty I was controlled and ridiculed when I did not do things the way the first wife did (always compared).I learned to take abuse emotional and psychological. The ex-wife did not have information about our everyday life so probably she too thought oh he gets to cheat and still have a great life....well let me tell you NOT- once a cheater always a cheater especially when they never dealt with why they did that and just pretended they did nothing wrong....its a vicious cycle(he was abusive from DAY 1 but I took it because there was no cheating at the time.....when he started cheating I was like first you are abusive, manipulative and controlling and then you now want to lie and cheat ? HELL NO

my point is you don't know what goes on in that house.....from the surface it might look good but he is who he is and will not change just for her ....he will change if he does work and accept that he is a cheater and needs to prevent that from happening in future...

I now say to my friend ...it was a case of same script -different cast in my marriage. Hope this makes you realise that if he was not remorseful about his cheating then he has not changed and wont grow....please work on your life and focus on being healthy and happy-you have been through enough.

The1stWife posted 7/16/2020 16:49 PM

Just like FakeBook. Do not believe what you see b/c you donít know what goes on behind closed doors.

Case in point. I have a friend who was married. Good kids. Good career. Happy. Big house. Vacations. Gorgeous jewelry from the H for every occasion. Money no object.

Turns out heís been a serial cheater and abusive. All throughout the marriage.

We were floored by this revelation!!!!

99problems posted 7/16/2020 17:03 PM

I supported my WW through terrible jobs, remodeled 2 homes while working full time, was a landlord while working full time, supported the entire mess while working shit jobs, for 5 of the 11 years she was shopping around for a new husband while pretending to love me. Now she gets me to take care of the kid while she and her new person can work and go on vacation. Yes, she'll never have the unconditional love I gave her, but I guess she doesn't want that anyway.
This is why I'll be suing for child support and alimony.

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