Dawn37 posted 8/30/2020 05:46 AM

Hi all,

I hope everyone is well 💕

so it’s been 6 months since exH walked out and things seem to just get worse on a weekly basis.

we are going between lawyers trying to fight the custody arrangements! I have asked that he rage the children on a Tuesday, fri to sun every second weekend with a Friday night and a Saturday night alternately between these weekends. This allows him to have one Friday, one Saturday plus every Sunday plus Sunday evening to himself. He is disagreeing to this now stating he wants just a Tuesday and every second weekend.

Despite me being at university and weekends being the only time I can work, he is unwilling to accommodate.
The children I feel are still trying to adjust to such a huge change in their life and he is forcing his new relationship, I.e allowing the children to FaceTime, organising after school play dates and the OW going to his house to collect her daughter even though they know that right now I don’t want my children around her.

He is so unreasonable I am simply asking him to be respectful and stop his disgusting behaviour, and all I get back is that I am the only person who thinks this! He is making me feel like I am loosing my mind by being so unreasonable!

Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice would be welcome 🙏🏼

99problems posted 8/30/2020 11:54 AM

Yes. My stbxww is texting me every Saturday night drunk and demanding to change details of the parenting "agreement"
I've got my lawyer involved. It's gonna get pretty ugly methinks.
But there's no way to make these jackasses be decent human beings. The courts are going to have to decree what the terms are and then I can call the cops if I have to. Which I'm sure I will have to do.

Lifeexploded posted 8/31/2020 20:31 PM

So he only wants the kids a few days out of the month?

crazyblindsided posted 9/1/2020 11:46 AM

Can you ask for more support money from him if he doesn't want to step up and be an equal parent? If you need to work then he should pay for childcare for you on those days. I would ask the lawyer. In the meantime I wouldn't listen to a word he says and just move forward with your lawyer in getting this arrangement ironed out so that he cannot waffle anymore and pick and chose what works for him.

He is so unreasonable I am simply asking him to be respectful and stop his disgusting behaviour, and all I get back is that I am the only person who thinks this! He is making me feel like I am loosing my mind by being so unreasonable!

I'm actually not surprised I think they get off on being unreasonable and you are not the only person who thinks this. Him and his AP are in la la land if they think this behavior isn't disgusting. You know what they say about lying with pigs "if you sleep with the pigs, then you'll wake up a pig."

(((Dawn37)))

Dawn37 posted 9/2/2020 02:22 AM

Crazyblinsided, unfortunately because he pays our mortgage and a loan we had I’m not entitled to any more maintenance. My lawyer has advised me that if he doesn’t want to accommodate my working whilst studying, I can apply for spousal maintenance.

It’s literally like banging my head off a brick wall. He actually said he will no longer bow down to me. However, I know that his AF ex has told her he will only be taking their kids every second weekend, therefore, my exH is trying to fit his arrangements around her. It’s so maddening & frustrating that he is so selfish and she is equally manipulating him but he doesn’t see it. It makes me wonder how long or if he will ever truly see her for what she is!

The1stWife posted 9/3/2020 04:12 AM

How sad the OW comes first.

How long is your schooling going to continue ? Maybe if those terms were temporary it might make a difference.

Catwoman posted 9/3/2020 06:11 AM

Before separation, how were you as a couple accommodating your schedule? That is pertinent, unless things have radically changed.

I would let your attorney handle this. They are much better at it. Keep ALL threatening correspondence and send it to your attorney. Don't engage with him verbally--keep everything to email and text and YOU write each word to him as if a judge were going to read it.

Cat

Dawn37 posted 9/3/2020 15:51 PM

Before seperation, he collected the kids from school every day except a monday. Now, i have to cut all clients (i'm self employed as well as studying) short to ensure i'm finished work to do the school pick up!!!

He contacted me yesterday and TOLD me that he will not be collecting the kids next week from school - even though it is his weekend with them. I told him I am working til 5pm and arrange all of my work and social plans around him having our children. He told me that he has plans and is giving me a week and a half notice to make alternate arrangements for the kids to be picked up by friends or family. I am so upset!!! I told him its his weekend with them so its his responsibility i also asked how it will look when the school call him and ask why he hasnt turned up to collect the children - his reply, which i personally was gobsmacked with, was ' I wont answer my phone'

I feel like this man has changed for the worse, there is no talking to him! I want to stand my ground and not collect my children as my attorney advised that it will reflect badly on him given its his weekend to have them. However, the thought of my kids sitting at the school upsets me so much!!! Please help x

The1stWife posted 9/4/2020 14:53 PM

You get your kids or make arrangements to have them picked up and watched.

Then document his refusal to keep to the agreed schedule. Have it in writing and save the emails or texts between you. All of it.

Have your attorney ask for child care costs and income reimbursement b/c he did not keep to the schedule for his weekend.

I know this is challenging right now. How long until school is over