bewuzzled posted 9/4/2020 22:17 PM

Of all the things that can make me sad... And there are alot, the Walmart shopping app got me tonight. I do the order online/ pickup thing, and in the app it saves your previous purchases in your 'favorites'. So once a week I go through there and order what I need. There's his deodorant, his body wash, his toothpaste. Ughhhh. I was doing an excellent job of distracting myself and getting tasks done. But something like that will trigger me into renewed sadness. I want the anger back that's been helping me get the house cleaned out and organized. The anger is productive. The sad is just... Misery. It's not productive. I instantly remember how I love the way he smells, and how much I miss it... And him.
Stupid Walmart. Better start removing those things from my account so this doesn't happen again.

toby posted 9/4/2020 23:53 PM

Sorry you’re having a tough night. Sorry to see you back here and on D/S forum.

BearlyBreathing posted 9/5/2020 00:41 AM

Yeah, those sneaky little triggers will get us. Bananas in the grocery store got me every time.
Luckily, they diminish with time— both cuz you clean those apps up and we just get stronger.

(Facebook memories are a bitch, too, if you are on FB).

bewuzzled posted 9/5/2020 14:44 PM

If the world was ending. What a song. I'm Focusing on breaking my sadness cycle today, but this song.
Off to the gym, that always helps.
Lyrics:

I was distracted
And in traffic
I didn't feel it
When the earthquake happened
But it really got me thinkin'
Were you out drinkin'?
Were you in the living room
Chillin' watchin' television?
It's been a year now
Think I've figured out how
How to let you go and let communication die out
I know, you know, we know
You weren't down for forever and it's fine
I know, you know, we know
We weren't meant for each other and it's fine
But if the world was ending
You'd come over, right?
You'd come over and you'd stay the night
Would you love me for the hell of it?
All our fears would be irrelevant
If the world was ending
You'd come over, right?
The sky'd be falling and I'd hold you tight
And there wouldn't be a reason why
We would even have to say goodbye
If the world was ending
You'd come over, right?
Right?
If the world was ending
You'd come over, right?
Right?
I tried to imagine
Your reaction
It didn't scare me when the earthquake happened
But it really got me thinkin'
That night we went drinkin'
Stumbled in the house
And didn't make it past the kitchen
Ah, it's been a year now
Think I've figured out how
How to think about you without it rippin' my heart out
I know, you know, we know
You weren't down for forever and it's fine
I know, you know, we know
We weren't meant for each other and it's fine
But if the world was ending
You'd come over, right?
You'd come over and you'd stay the night
Would you love me for the hell of it?
All our fears would be irrelevant
If the world was ending
You'd come over, right?
The sky'd be falling while I'd hold you tight
No, there wouldn't be a reason why
We would even have to say goodbye
If the world was ending
You'd come over, right?
You'd come over, right?
You'd come over, you'd come over, you'd come over, right?
I know, you know, we know
You weren't down for forever and it's fine
I know, you know, we know
We weren't meant for each other and it's fine
But if the world was ending
You'd come over, right?
You'd come over and you'd stay the night
Would you love me for the hell of it?
All our fears would be irrelevant
If the world was ending
You'd come over, right?
The sky'd be falling while I hold you tight
No, there wouldn't be a reason why
We would even have to say goodbye
If the world was ending
You'd come over, right?
You'd come over, you'd come over, you'd come over, right?
If the world was ending
You'd come over, right?

LifeDestroyer posted 9/5/2020 17:11 PM

I'm the same way. Whenever I see something he liked or a good deal on something, I want to text him about it or pick it up. Then I remember, and the sadness takes over.

That song, oh man. It's on my playlist and gets me every time.