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Minimizing

Gottagetthrough posted 9/5/2020 08:36 AM

Up early and thinking about how I could be in this situation AGAIN. Wh cheated in 2009-2010 and I took him back, now he’s cheated again.

It’s minimizing. It’s how I’ve gotten through this whole marriage.

It’s because I minimized the whole thing. Wh is a HORRIBLE person who never puts family first and is always out for himself.

I’m so done. 42 days until he’s out.

Chrysalis123 posted 9/5/2020 08:59 AM

What a great realization and step forward. You found your "Why".

twicefooled posted 9/5/2020 10:19 AM

Good job. It's better to realize it now and not in another 10 yrs. You are reclaiming your future <3

You've discovered "fool me once shame on you. Fool me once shame on me" and using it to go forth. Best of luck!

skeetermooch posted 9/5/2020 10:59 AM

So sorry you're dealing with this. You're not alone.

Gottagetthrough posted 9/5/2020 11:00 AM

I keep thinking that “fool me once....” when I want to stay with him. I have three kids, one isn’t a year old! I’d LOVE to work this out. But it’s too big and he will do it again. I told him with the therapist a few weeks ago , “I love you , I HATE to leave, but that gut punch i got when I found out about he PA in 2009? That gut punch when I saw the I love you text in 2019?” Can’t do that again. You broke my heart at 30, broke my heart at 40, I can’t take it at 50.”

[This message edited by Gottagetthrough at 11:01 AM, September 5th (Saturday)]

twicefooled posted 9/5/2020 14:20 PM

That was my ultimate straw that broke the camel's back. I knew I could probably survive, and thrive, after the first one. But the second one killed all of my hope - and without hope, what is there?

I'm 6 years out. My life is incredible now. I enjoy dating, I enjoy being single and living life on my own terms. My children and I are thriving. The ex? Not so much. He hasn't changed at all.

Big hugs. I promise you, you will get through this stronger than ever.

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