SleeplessInSouth posted 10/29/2020 23:56 PM

I'm about to file for divorce. I haven't worked in the last 16 years because I've been home with the kids. My STBXH has a very good job and makes a good salary. He had a 3 year affair and spent a lot of money on his OW including buying a camper for them to meet at. Not to mention many trips and gifts. I have a few emails between them that can prove they bought a camper with family money.
Do you think I can get any kind of support?

The1stWife posted 10/30/2020 02:26 AM

Have you met with an attorney?

SleeplessInSouth posted 10/30/2020 07:45 AM

I did see an attorney before the whole pandemic started. She acted as if I would be able to get child support and spousal maintenance but may STBXH acts like he only has to give me half of his retirement and half the sell of the house. That's nothing when I worked the first few years of our marriage to put him through law school. Also when I read about it online it seems like Texas doesn't like to give spousal maintenance. Scares me a lot.

twinkie posted 10/30/2020 08:22 AM

Spousal support would be temporary if you were granted it. You need a lawyer that will be a shark in court! Your husband is wrong about the half of his retirement and half of the house. Put together a file with all the evidence you have. While Texas is a no fault state you can use the evidence as a bargaining tool. Also be prepared to mediate. In Texas house mediate everything except child support. Best of luck to you.

Ratpicker posted 10/30/2020 08:44 AM

As I understand it, you can still file for a fault based divorce in Texas due to adultery. If you put your husband thru law school (he is an attorney?)- you need to have a very good attorney to advise you and represent you.

Child support and spousal support are not affected by the grounds (fault or no-fault) used in a Texas divorce. However, the division of property/ marital estate could be affected if the adultery can be proved. You need to get effective legal advice.

And any evidence of the adultery that you have, the emails, financial records, need to be stored somewhere he can't get them.

TX1995 posted 10/30/2020 09:52 AM

I have a friend who got spousal support for a short time post-divorce. (In addition to child support.) She was actually the betrayer, but because she was a SAHM who only worked very part-time, she got support to basically get her back on her feet. They also had hit the 10 year mark of marriage, which is apparently important?

When I went to see an attorney I was told that I would probably get spousal support for a while, child support as mandated by the formula, and could fight for and probably receive closer to 60% of our assets because I have been out of the workforce for 15 years (basically the whole time we had been married) and his earning potential is larger than mine.

Ask around if you can for attorney recommendations. Each county has different ways they go about things and it's good to know someone who can get the results you need.

ETA: And since he's an attorney, be extra careful about backing down from threats. My lovely father, is an attorney, told my mom (after cheating and leaving her for another woman) not to fight for more child support when they divorced or that he'd go for full custody. She relented out of fear and got money whenever he deemed it necessary. Make sure that you get what you deserve!

[This message edited by TX1995 at 9:56 AM, October 30th (Friday)]

SleeplessInSouth posted 10/30/2020 10:09 AM

Thank you all for the help. I'm contacting my lawyer today.

lieshurt posted 10/30/2020 11:58 AM

I believe one of our Texas members did get spousal support, but it was only for 2 or 3 years.

messyleslie posted 10/30/2020 12:41 PM

I have no idea about Texas, so maybe it varies a ton.

In my state you get spousal support for half the length of your marriage. Based on my ex’s 200k salary I will be getting about 4K a month for 7 years. This is literally a calculation that the state does. It obviously can be negotiated and someone could get less per month for a larger payout to begin with. I met with 3 attorneys prior to hiring one and the all told me the same number.

shellshocked14 posted 10/30/2020 14:31 PM

Texas has very clear guidelines for spousal support based on the number of years married and ability of the recipient to make a living. The length of the order And amount is limited and is determined by the length of the marriage. Your lawyer should be able to tell you all of this when you discuss it.

inconnu posted 10/30/2020 19:37 PM

I believe one of our Texas members did get spousal support, but it was only for 2 or 3 years.

That'd be me. I had been a sahm for 17 years at the time I filed for divorce, and got spousal support for 2 years in addition to child support. Of course, I'm also the one whose ex was such an ass during the divorce that his attorney is one the who came up with the agreement during mediation that gave me 63% of the assets to ex's 37%.