Gottagetthrough posted 11/2/2020 13:18 PM

I never had met ow 1 before the affair.

Ow 2, id known for several years, had been to her parents house (they have a pool and id been to pool parties there)

At some point she and my wh started texting at 2 am

At some point they started sharing marital woes

At some point they shared i love yous (ONLY AS BROTHER AND SISTER! OF COURSE!)

She threw me a baby shower last year. My sister said, “why is this woman inserting herself into your life?”

My friends agreed it was weird.

I found out my wh told her he loved her more than a sibling and asked her about it. She said yes it happened, but she didnt remember what he said because he was just being an asshole and messing with her.

Why would you continue texting that man? Who says he adores you?

Dont you value YOUR marriage, even if you dont care about his?

My belief- why their “friendship” ended, is that her husband found out and flipped out. I dont think she ended the friendship on her own.

I had a dream about her last night, and found out they had a physical affair. I wasn’t surprised. I was hurt, but not surprised.

[This message edited by Gottagetthrough at 2:47 PM, November 2nd (Monday)]

barcher144 posted 11/3/2020 09:11 AM

During my custody evaluation, I was required to do a psychological assessment. I came back "normal" except that I didn't really seem to trust other people.

I wonder why?

Your WH is a liar and a cheat. OW2 is a liar and a cheat. A lot of people are liars and cheats.

You ever hear the parable of the frog and the scorpion? It's who they are.

The trick is to not let these terrible people turn you into a terrible person.

[This message edited by barcher144 at 9:11 AM, November 3rd (Tuesday)]

Gottagetthrough posted 11/3/2020 12:31 PM

I feel betrayed by a friend... not a great friend but a solid acquaintance that i hung out with.

I know my wh is a snake, but i didnt see it coming from ow. Does she even think she did anything wrong?

barcher144 posted 11/3/2020 12:40 PM

Does she even think she did anything wrong?

Most likely, no.

Your WH is not unique. There are a lot of people like him. OW2 just happens to be one of those.

Do not get me wrong. There is a small fraction of people who cheat who are decent human beings. They wake up and say to themselves: Oh my god, what have I done?. I would say these are 5% of the people who cheat.

The other 95%...

Let me put it this way... once upon a time, you thought your WH was a wonderful person... but yet he turned out to be a cheating ass. Basically, you have the same situation with your former-friend.

I'm sorry. All of this sucks. It absolutely, positively sucks. But, none of it is your fault. None of this means anything about who you are as a human being.