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Divorce/Separation :
Divorce is tomorrow

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 RichT (original poster new member #71459) posted at 5:13 AM on Thursday, November 5th, 2020

I just wanted to say that tomorrow it's gonna be my divorce hearing. This time tomorrow I'll gonna be single again.

I don't know how to feel about it, I'm extremely sad I think I'm still dening all that's happened to me.

A little backstory is that my STBXWW cheated on me with the person that's had been taken care of my MIL while she was on hospital last year, I founded out and it opened a can of worms, a pandora's box of infidelities. We had just one year of marriage, we were the perfect couple, she was the perfect wife... But everything was a lie.

This year the doctor detected that I have HPV. In the middle of the pandemic I leave her for a month, and in that month she already replaced me with another man.

She leave me with this disease, which is virtually incurable and I'm very worried about my future romantic life, I'm still young, Iam 33 years old and I havent been single for half my life.

I don't know what I gain writing all of this here but I have no many friends or family to talk about. Wish me luck guys!

[This message edited by RichT at 11:14 PM, November 4th (Wednesday)]

posts: 40   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2019
id 8605667
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 8:43 AM on Thursday, November 5th, 2020

Breathe.

You are being released to pursue a life free of infidelity. It hurts now. It is a gift.

HPV is very very common. Huge percentages of men and women carry the virus. Condoms are the solution. This does not make you less desirable.

Be kind to yourself, possibly see an IC to help you come to terms with this all.

It’s hard and it hurts but you will be okay, you will thrive , as you heal from her infidelities.

Trust that time will help.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6491   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8605684
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Hippo16 ( member #52440) posted at 10:21 AM on Thursday, November 5th, 2020

RichT

visit planned parenthood web pages - lots of info on HPV - should allay some of your concerns

also webmd and cdc (government web site)

There's no troubled marriage that can't be made worse with adultery."For a person with integrity, there is no possibility of being unhappy enough in your marriage to have an affair, but not unhappy enough to ask for divorce."

posts: 991   ·   registered: Mar. 26th, 2016   ·   location: OBX
id 8605692
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 RichT (original poster new member #71459) posted at 8:02 PM on Thursday, November 5th, 2020

Just an update. The hearing went well, everything was ok.

When we went out of the office she ask me how I felt... I couldn't answer her I couldn't look into her eyes, why she was asking me that if she really don't care?

If only she gave me a final "I'm sorry for all the trouble and pain I caused you" but no I think not even my lowest expectations can be covered.

Last night I wrote her a letter but in the last minute I decided not to deliver it, what's the point? As Roger Waters said

"...after all it's not easy

Banging your heart against some mad bugger's wall"

I wanna thank you all for listen me. You are a great club!

[This message edited by RichT at 2:05 PM, November 5th (Thursday)]

posts: 40   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2019
id 8605947
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 8:24 PM on Thursday, November 5th, 2020

Closure is such an enticing illusion... but it is not real. Glad you got through the day, and bittersweet congratulations on getting out of infidelity. Sunnier days are ahead.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6491   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8605955
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Tigersrule77 ( member #47339) posted at 1:39 PM on Friday, November 6th, 2020

RichT, I'm glad your D is now final. I hope you are now able to focus on your very bright future. As you said, you are still young and you should be able to find someone worthy of you. But focus on yourself, on making friends and doing things you enjoy. I think you'll find that people enjoy spending time with other people who are happy and enjoy their life. I don't have a lot of friends either, but a few I know and trust.

I hope you can see that you have a lot of possibilities in front of you and now you don't have that negative person holding you back.

posts: 1593   ·   registered: Mar. 27th, 2015   ·   location: Maryland
id 8606175
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HalfTime2017 ( member #64366) posted at 11:06 PM on Friday, November 6th, 2020

As you were leaving the courtroom, instead of talking to her and letting her ask you how you are feeling you should have gotten up, look at her and the rest of the courtroom and said "Bye Felicia!". B/C that is all that was left to be said to that cheating WW of yours

posts: 1426   ·   registered: Jul. 5th, 2018   ·   location: Cali
id 8606428
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Bleu ( member #14243) posted at 4:24 AM on Saturday, November 7th, 2020

Last night I wrote her a letter but in the last minute I decided not to deliver it, what's the point?

How wise of you to write a closure letter. That step was so helpful for me. I told myself I was closing a chapter and have mostly focused on myself since then.

BS (Me) - 42
WS (It) - 42

Coupled in 1998
DD#1 - 2002
DD#2 - 2003
Married in 2010
DD#3 - 2012
And many more . . .

Divorcing

Two gorgeous, funny and fun little kids

posts: 293   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2007
id 8606473
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99problems ( member #59373) posted at 8:09 AM on Saturday, November 7th, 2020

I could write a closure Bible but don't have the time.

Glad that it works for you guys though. We all have our own path through this crap.

And it's up to us to find our own way through it.

Peace and love to all of us D/S peeps.

Got me a new forum name!<BR />Formerly Idiotmcstupid.<BR />I am divorced, so not as much of an idiot now- 4/15/21,

posts: 1010   ·   registered: Jun. 26th, 2017   ·   location: Somewhere
id 8606485
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Westway ( member #71747) posted at 5:21 PM on Monday, November 9th, 2020

I'm happy to read you are free from her. Despicable woman.

Me: 52;

XWW: 50 y.o. serial cheater

Married 22 years, Together 24
2 Daughters: aged 16 and 20
DDay: 9/20/19
Divorced 12/03/20.

posts: 1366   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2019   ·   location: USA
id 8607001
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Stinger ( member #74090) posted at 10:49 PM on Monday, November 9th, 2020

Look into using her for giving you the STD. SERIOUSLY.

posts: 697   ·   registered: Mar. 24th, 2020
id 8607136
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Stinger ( member #74090) posted at 10:51 PM on Monday, November 9th, 2020

Suing. God I hate this autocorrect.

posts: 697   ·   registered: Mar. 24th, 2020
id 8607137
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 RichT (original poster new member #71459) posted at 3:08 AM on Thursday, November 12th, 2020

I have tough about suing her but I've had contratictional advices from lawyers. I'm not from US, I'm more like south someone says I have a case some don't also they are not regulation about it here.

My X was my only sexual companion ever. But how I can corroborate that?? She's gonna say that maybe I cheated on her before or after, she doesn't have honor.

There no way I could have got a sexual disease somewhere else.

But she is a self entitled, manipulative, competitive bitch. Instead of thinking "ooh well I did very bad to him I think the moral high ground is help him with the expenses of his treatment" she gonna fight back hard just to not loose. I'm her enemy now and she can be implacable.

[This message edited by RichT at 9:43 PM, November 11th (Wednesday)]

posts: 40   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2019
id 8608047
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BigBlueEyes ( member #71441) posted at 9:49 PM on Thursday, November 12th, 2020

Good for you RichT,

I really hope you can start building a new life for yourself after everything you have been through.

There is light at the end of the tunnel,

sometimes it just takes awhile to get there.

Me- BW, 47
Multi Dday's,
DB A's x 2 BFF
Multi ONS's, Online shit.
Serial cheat, Abuser,
D 18.02.20
Stay strong, just because it’s hard today, doesn’t mean that next week it won’t get easier!!

posts: 674   ·   registered: Mar. 11th, 2019   ·   location: A tiny dot in a big 'ol World
id 8608424
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