"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

RichT posted 11/4/2020 23:13 PM

I just wanted to say that tomorrow it's gonna be my divorce hearing. This time tomorrow I'll gonna be single again.

I don't know how to feel about it, I'm extremely sad I think I'm still dening all that's happened to me.

A little backstory is that my STBXWW cheated on me with the person that's had been taken care of my MIL while she was on hospital last year, I founded out and it opened a can of worms, a pandora's box of infidelities. We had just one year of marriage, we were the perfect couple, she was the perfect wife... But everything was a lie.

This year the doctor detected that I have HPV. In the middle of the pandemic I leave her for a month, and in that month she already replaced me with another man.

She leave me with this disease, which is virtually incurable and I'm very worried about my future romantic life, I'm still young, Iam 33 years old and I havent been single for half my life.

I don't know what I gain writing all of this here but I have no many friends or family to talk about. Wish me luck guys!

[This message edited by RichT at 11:14 PM, November 4th (Wednesday)]

BearlyBreathing posted 11/5/2020 02:43 AM

Breathe.

You are being released to pursue a life free of infidelity. It hurts now. It is a gift.

HPV is very very common. Huge percentages of men and women carry the virus. Condoms are the solution. This does not make you less desirable.

Be kind to yourself, possibly see an IC to help you come to terms with this all.

It’s hard and it hurts but you will be okay, you will thrive , as you heal from her infidelities.
Trust that time will help.

Hippo16 posted 11/5/2020 04:21 AM

RichT

visit planned parenthood web pages - lots of info on HPV - should allay some of your concerns

also webmd and cdc (government web site)

RichT posted 11/5/2020 14:02 PM

Just an update. The hearing went well, everything was ok.

When we went out of the office she ask me how I felt... I couldn't answer her I couldn't look into her eyes, why she was asking me that if she really don't care?

If only she gave me a final "I'm sorry for all the trouble and pain I caused you" but no I think not even my lowest expectations can be covered.

Last night I wrote her a letter but in the last minute I decided not to deliver it, what's the point? As Roger Waters said

"...after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad bugger's wall"

I wanna thank you all for listen me. You are a great club!

[This message edited by RichT at 2:05 PM, November 5th (Thursday)]

BearlyBreathing posted 11/5/2020 14:24 PM

Closure is such an enticing illusion... but it is not real. Glad you got through the day, and bittersweet congratulations on getting out of infidelity. Sunnier days are ahead.

Tigersrule77 posted 11/6/2020 07:39 AM

RichT, I'm glad your D is now final. I hope you are now able to focus on your very bright future. As you said, you are still young and you should be able to find someone worthy of you. But focus on yourself, on making friends and doing things you enjoy. I think you'll find that people enjoy spending time with other people who are happy and enjoy their life. I don't have a lot of friends either, but a few I know and trust.

I hope you can see that you have a lot of possibilities in front of you and now you don't have that negative person holding you back.

HalfTime2017 posted 11/6/2020 17:06 PM

As you were leaving the courtroom, instead of talking to her and letting her ask you how you are feeling you should have gotten up, look at her and the rest of the courtroom and said "Bye Felicia!". B/C that is all that was left to be said to that cheating WW of yours

Bleu posted 11/6/2020 22:24 PM

Last night I wrote her a letter but in the last minute I decided not to deliver it, what's the point?

How wise of you to write a closure letter. That step was so helpful for me. I told myself I was closing a chapter and have mostly focused on myself since then.

99problems posted 11/7/2020 02:09 AM

I could write a closure Bible but don't have the time.
Glad that it works for you guys though. We all have our own path through this crap.
And it's up to us to find our own way through it.
Peace and love to all of us D/S peeps.

Westway posted 11/9/2020 11:21 AM

I'm happy to read you are free from her. Despicable woman.

Stinger posted 11/9/2020 16:49 PM

Look into using her for giving you the STD. SERIOUSLY.

Stinger posted 11/9/2020 16:51 PM

Suing. God I hate this autocorrect.

RichT posted 11/11/2020 21:08 PM

I have tough about suing her but I've had contratictional advices from lawyers. I'm not from US, I'm more like south someone says I have a case some don't also they are not regulation about it here.

My X was my only sexual companion ever. But how I can corroborate that?? She's gonna say that maybe I cheated on her before or after, she doesn't have honor.

There no way I could have got a sexual disease somewhere else.

But she is a self entitled, manipulative, competitive bitch. Instead of thinking "ooh well I did very bad to him I think the moral high ground is help him with the expenses of his treatment" she gonna fight back hard just to not loose. I'm her enemy now and she can be implacable.

[This message edited by RichT at 9:43 PM, November 11th (Wednesday)]

BigBlueEyes posted 11/12/2020 15:49 PM

Good for you RichT,

I really hope you can start building a new life for yourself after everything you have been through.

There is light at the end of the tunnel,
sometimes it just takes awhile to get there.