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Think it may be over

Gemini83 posted 11/15/2020 19:44 PM

I tried so hard and for so long. We spent 4.5 years living 1500 miles apart. He had a major ptsd flare half way through, enter the A. All the ups and downs, the fights, the tears and sleepless nights waiting for him to get home so we could try to fix this and here we are. Heís been home a month. We had a great week. It all ended Friday night. He made a comment about my health and it upset me. We had a bit of argument, heís mad at me because I throw things in his face. I didnít throw anything in his face I gave an example of something he said when I was first diagnosed. He has spent the last two days not talking to me.
This evening he made a post on Facebook and being miserable and wanting to get the hell out of here. Then he started drinking and playing music. Then he came into the bedroom to get his gun. He was walking around rubbing the gun on his head. I couldnít get him to put the gun away so I took our daughter and went to his parents. The police have been called. If they couldnít get him to answer the phone they are going over to talk to him with a crisis interventionist. He sent me a text and said heís expecting divorce papers when I come home.

fareast posted 11/15/2020 19:48 PM

So sorry this has happened to you. You have been heard and you are not alone. Stay safe and take care of you and your daughter. He sounds quite unstable when any offhand comment can set him off. Take care.

[This message edited by fareast at 8:49 PM, November 15th (Sunday)]

BearlyBreathing posted 11/15/2020 20:33 PM

Oh my. Heís not healthy right now and it sounds like you took all the right steps. Please stay safe, and def call the cops anytime he acts that crazy.

(((Gemini83)))

The1stWife posted 11/16/2020 05:58 AM

What are your immediate plans? Besides him being out f the home?

Gemini83 posted 11/16/2020 09:39 AM

Not sure what my immediate plans were right now. I can see from the phone records that the police officer I spoke with made contact with him. They did not go to the house. I can see what is going on outside the house due to Ring cameras. He left for work their morning. I went over to the house and got everything our daughter needs for school for remote learning and clothes. Iím back at my in laws house. My mother in law is telling me to file. They will help in any way they can. Anything I need they are happy to provide.
Iím having a medical procedure done this afternoon. I donít know what time he will be home. He just checked into his command last week, no set schedule. Our daughter will stay here until we talk and decide. If we separate I think my daughter and I will be coming here. They donít really seem to want him here.
Long term, once a divorce is final Iíll most likely file bankruptcy and start over. Not sure if I will stay here in this city where him and his family are, or move 3 hours away where my family is. I make decent money for my state, without all my debt I can provide a comfortable life for just the two of us alone. All my debt is because of him.

Westway posted 11/16/2020 13:07 PM

Take it one day at a time. You will get through this. Have faith in yourself.

Gemini83 posted 11/18/2020 13:44 PM

Iím so done with this week. Monday afternoon, I went to talk to him. He triggered right before I did on Friday when it all started. I reminded him I had a procedure that afternoon, our daughter was doing school work, when both were done we would be home. He needed to decide what heís doing, staying, leaving or filing and there will be no repeats on Sunday night.
My procedure at neurology was no fun. They put electrodes all over my legs and feet to shock me. Then they put needles in my muscles in my legs, feet and back to shock me.

Tuesday, (I work in the OR) our hospital shut down the ENT and single day surgery and moved all to the main OR. Converted beds in pre-op to over night beds and placed post op beds in the surgery waiting room. Itís as much of a cluster as you would think. Yesterday kicked my ass.

Today, my sister called me at 0630 to tell me that my aunt, who has been on a vent for 3 weeks due to Covid, took a turn for the worse last night. Doesnít look like she is expected to make it. This afternoon I get to go back to neurology to have the same procedure done as Monday except to my arms.
I really am not looking forward to work tomorrow or Friday.

BearlyBreathing posted 11/18/2020 16:36 PM

(((Gemini))) this week is shit. Please take extra care of yourself. Sending healing mojoó

The1stWife posted 11/18/2020 18:15 PM

Iím sorry you are facing all of this. Please take sometime for yourself.

Even 10 minutes in the shower and a cup of tea is enough to relax you.

Prayers and hugs to you.

Buster123 posted 11/19/2020 00:45 AM

Then he came into the bedroom to get his gun. He was walking around rubbing the gun on his head. I couldnít get him to put the gun away so I took our daughter and went to his parents. The police have been called. If they couldnít get him to answer the phone they are going over to talk to him with a crisis interventionist. He sent me a text and said heís expecting divorce papers when I come home.
This man is unhinged and not stable at all, for your safety I suggest you avoid talking to him in person at least for the time being, sounds like he's suicidal.

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