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Hello - finally decided to leave

Zoraiya posted 2/13/2021 20:24 PM

I finally decided to leave, so I thought I'd come over here.

Dday was Jan. 22. My story is on the Just Found Out board. After conversations with a psychologist and a lawyer yesterday, I woke up today ready to leave, finally at peace with ending this ridiculous M, and looking forward to being rid of the burden of being married to my WH. Shortly after waking up, I find out that he has made our daughter change her weekend plans so that we can have our family grill day today because he is flying out tonight to go see his girlfriend. Tonight, he sends me an email that was so sickeningly dripping with selfishness that it took me a good 2 hours to calm down.

He has decided, after 21 years of marriage, that he is now a polygamist. I can either accept that or leave.

I have talked to one lawyer, and have two more appointments over the next two weeks.

Right now, I want out of this marriage so badly that I keep having to remind myself how short-sighted it may be to go with the first lawyer I found.

BearlyBreathing posted 2/13/2021 20:47 PM

Aó glad you have made your decision. Limbo is the worst place. And your WS with his sudden decision to be a polygamistó hahahaha.. Just wait to his AP says the same thing to him. SMH.

Definitely see three lawyers. Find the shark so you get everything you are entitled to and so he canít use them. Remember that he is no longer the guy he used to be, so donít assume he will do what is right for you or the kids.

Read the Fear vs Reality thread pinned here.

Do you have a plan for finances and a place to live (do you get to keep where you are)?

You are on your way to better daysó play the long game and youíre going to be just fine.

EllieKMAS posted 2/13/2021 21:08 PM

Girl mine tried that poly horseshit too. Glad you realized way sooner than I did that you are under NO obligation to put up with it, accept it, or allow it!

Get done. Believe me when I tell you that life on the other side is SO much better.

siracha posted 2/14/2021 17:00 PM

Its been said here many times poly relationships only work for fully fledged mature insightful honest people . He seems to not be one of those people .
Otoh Pathetic men with poor morals and low impulse control do get to have sex with pathetic women and typically those relationships end with one extorting the other for money. Good idea to legally separate all your finances ASAP ;
And since he is even shit at being a father ( and will likely get worse ) i suggest you should get the biggest shark lawyer out there and ask them if it makes legal / financial sense to opt for a very aggressive approach .

homewrecked2011 posted 2/16/2021 23:04 PM

Honestly, I hope he stays wherever he is for awhile. My kids did better when he was 100% gone than when he came in/out of our lives and caused drama.

My atty filed a legal separation so that the kids and I had exclusive use of the house for the 1 year separation-and he had to pay the house payment.

Also, when you consult with the shark atty, you donít have to use them, just having the consult means that ur WS canít hire them (is what I was told).

Keep strong. Try to stay focused on providing a calm home for your child. It will be years (if ever) that your WS will get a reality check-no point in wasting your and your daughters life on him.

And donít tell him about this site, itís support for only you.

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