SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

One of the reasons cuckolds are cuckolds is because they either couldn’t see the truth of their adulteress wife’s behavior or, once it was revealed to them, they did a pick me dance or stayed with a blameshifting, trickle truther (see Proverbs 30:20).

Cuckolds were scorned in yesteryear because they continued to tolerate wickedness in the face of empirical proof. It was seen as weakness. Were our ancestors wrong about this?

I mean, look, that does seem to describe pretty much every betrayed husband on here, including me. What are the actual consequences for the Proverbs 30:20 woman if her cuckold husband signs up for IC, gives her HB sex validation, allows the torn asunder family to stay together, and she takes the real truth of her behavior to the grave?

“Betrayed husband” is also an accurate term, because that is basically synonymous with “cuckold”

In any case, if you want to use “cuckold” fire away. Maybe it will shake things up, offend delicate sensibilities and get people to stop talking about mushy psychobabble.

[This message edited by Thumos at 12:15 PM, August 23rd (Friday)]

By the way I’m pretty sure Proverbs 30:20 is a clever double entendre. People were having the same sex thousands of years ago as they do now. Women liked sex just as much then as they do now - which is to say, every bit as much as men.

Thumos

Ten Commandments... a “two become one in the flesh” spiritual sanctified partner

Just wanted to point out that when the 10 Commandments were first written, men could and did have multiple wives. The “two become one” was more like “it takes a village”.

While it’s true that polygamy was practiced in the Old Testament era, the scripture doesn’t exactly make it out to be a wonderful thing. In fact it’s clear that it is fraught with problems, jealousies and conflicts. The Bible makes no attempt to cover up disorder and sin. I mean showing the consequence of bad social models and bad decisions seems to be one of the points -That’s part of the whole story (David, a polygamist, kills Uriah, a monogamist, for example.) iIt’s also true that the original marriage (Adam amd Eve) was monogamist. By the time of the New Testament, it’s clear that monogamy is the model. Your point is well taken but a little context is necessary. In any case my point was that for thousands of years we have understood the basic unit of a well ordered society to be a monogamous marriage, and that adultery is a viral threat to that and should be understood as such.

Personally, I feel that whatever you each expected is valid. I think the problem is always communication. The bottom line is that whatever the issue, in our case, infidelity, the wayward was unable for whatever reason to communicate whatever they were feeling. I can't get over the fact that they can fall in love and/or have sex with someone they barely, if at all, know rather than communicate with someone they do. I also think Ester Perel is trying to change the way infidelity is viewed because maybe she's been duped Just sayin'.

Yes, the Drama Triangle hypothesis is based on empirical evidence. Steve Karpman is the go-to guy for details.

By definition, a cuckold is a cuckold because his W committed adultery. D doesn't change that.

The WS is to blame for the cheating and its effects. The BS must respond, but s/he has a wide range of choices. The best choice is to become take responsibility for one's own life.

On a personal level, I knew that in choosing R, I was also, in effect, choosing to lose the respect of some of the billions of people who do not live my life. That IS a minor problem for me, but I'm good with my choice.

[This message edited by sisoon at 8:58 PM, August 23rd (Friday)]