SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Good morning fellow si-ers. TJ contributed oatmeal and NY maple syrup. I have french roast coffee again, strong and sweet.

How about eggs over easy, and sausage. I like sausage even though its bad for you. Im flexible we can have turkey sausage and the regular kind. Jimmy dean or wegmans brand all are yummy.

Ok after fall of NC, Im on day two. Did 12 before, trying to break it this time. One record at a time. One small goal at a time.

My dreams were full of stbx last night. One scenario he moved to california to a house that i loved. Perfect and better than mine. He referred to our house as a shit hole in a text to OW in his hidden cell. (yes during false r i tried to fix it up in some places;still didnt matter)

second dream he registered for classes at a college near by with his ex wife. not me the first one. He was staying closer and improving his life.

I have no idea which scenario would be worse for me. Sad that the ratbastard takes up 90 percent of my awake time and now is invading my sleep.

well off to work today and night school tonight. Lecture on nursing assessments and care plans. Hope i can focus more tonight and concentrate more. EEKK give me strength to focus and have my mind on school tonight.

enjoy the sausage and maple syrup. maybe dip them in together. yummm

NC= No new hurts

NC= detachment

NC= slowly reclaiming our dignity

jumping aboard before work today.

I had dreams of stbx as well. Yesterday was a strong day for me ... then I have this dream that he is talking on the phone with her infront of me, saying things to her he used to say to me, and then hands me the phone and she says to me "you don't know who you are messing with" ... I woke up sad and agitated all over again.

Sad that the ratbastard takes up 90 percent of my awake time and now is invading my sleep

My thoughts exactly !!

I'm hoping this week is a fast one.

Gotta get my anger back ... it helps keep me strong.

I fell off the train big time last night, still have the scratches from EKK to prove it

I don't know why I bother keep thinking one of these times I am going to hear something differant but I don't, just his PA shit. I had just wanted to make sure he wasn't on his way down here and then the conversation turned into so much more again, not even sure what it was just enough to keep me attached I guess while he still plays the " I don't know what I want card".

I am taking big steps in my future but it doens't mean I don't miss him and want him to be a part of it to have him to share it with, but then there are times I don't

So I need somesthing, maybe a furry love, been thinking of it anyway just don't know it I want to be tied down, might have to settle with Ekk for now!!

Hope all have a great day and let's try to move forward again one step at a time

Double Post

[This message edited by dreamerinnc at 6:49 AM, September 7th (Tuesday)]

Triple Post No patience with the computer just kept hitting submit!!

[This message edited by dreamerinnc at 6:50 AM, September 7th (Tuesday)]

Well, we all seem to be posting before we dash off to our jobs....ugh.

And Dreamer is so into it, she will post three times for good luck!

You made me smile, dreamer.

I know what you mean: we wish so damn hard the Baboonz will just turn into...what? Caring, thinking humans? Not gonna happen.

But I got a new attitude, and feeling I have not had for five months. Also: anniversary of five months passed...and I did not realize it until a couple of days later. THAT is progress.

When I wake up with one of THOSE dreams still in my head...I make myself think of other things...the train...the scenery...a lovely breakfast, event tho I don't have time to make or eat it. I think of all of you guys. And I do feel a bit better.

So off to work. Eek is coming with me, watching over me. The dear spider monkey does his job.

See every one at lunch.

TJ

good morning everyone

I had to check my glases... I thought I was seeing double, no triple!

Have a great day everyone

words:

Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.

-Helen Keller

Well, despite my spending 3 days with stbxwh, I've been able to maintain a semblance of NC. I did not engage in anything more than banal conversation and I did not make any snarky comments about him and the OW. We ate meals together like cordial acquaintances. He tried to engage me in a political discussion yesterday, but I shut it down. I'm pretty proud of myself.

I'll finish packing up my stuff this morning and head back to Phoenix. Since I start my new job on Friday, I'll be busy and won't be able to obsess for a while at least. I'll also be able to re-start the D process finally. Things are looking up.

Have a great day everyone.

The coffee is good today.

I'm tired yet can say aboard this train!

So tired.

I want a break from work and kids.

I want to be taken care of today. Pampered. The only one I can count on for that is myself.

Good luck everyone. Stay strong today. NC NC NC NC NC NC NC NC NC NC NC~~~

So... sleepy...

After waiting for my friend from out of town to call (he never did, but I know he didn't blow me off. His wife and mother probably had already scheduled his day) I got a FB message from another friend who I have chatted with a few times online since XWW left, but haven't seen since high school. She invited me over to watch Hoarders and make fun of people sadder than us. It was fun, but I ended up staying up till 2:00. I think for breakfast I will have coffee, coffee, coffee, spam, eggs, and coffee.

The ride is becoming more enjoyable. Uuh! we have come a long way. I am proud of myself and surprised too. I am thinking of him less and is nolonger worried about where he is getting his fix(sex). i am getting comfortable being in the limbo, one day at a time. y'all

Good morning all,

Coffee, coffee and more coffee please. Dreams of the waywards seemed to be running rampant last night. I had one as well; they are always about him coming back. For the love of God, can we not get a break even while we sleep...at least we can catch a break on the train!

Hope you all have a great day.

Pass the coffee pot. Thanks. :)

One month & 2 days into NC and I haven't broken it. 2 phone conversations about kid stuff and maybe 5 short txts about finances.

NC is helping me get some "normal" back. This past week, I was finally strong enough to do housecleaning I normally do without thinking about.

I cannot believe how grief affects every aspect of functioning.

I could used some coffee myself.

Man, it is hard to keep up with NC nowadays. I'm doing it, but I woke up this morning thinking about how I want to give a verbal smackdown to my stbx. I was watching the documentary "Babies" last night, and seeing all those pretty babies onscreen made me think of my DS. So I called stbx, and sounded annoyed that I called to check on my son.

He wants me to give him some 'ttention (my mom always says that) and I refuse to. All I focus on is the baby.

Anyway, I'm going to watch some Springer and laugh at people who may be going through what I am going through, but look a heck of a lot trashier doing so. Maybe that will help me feel better.

EEK! You're on GUARD!

springer huh? maybe that would be more comical relief for me. I'll try that to laugh at people more pathetic than me but i think im challenged to find any.

At work and able to focus a little on charts and tasks at hand. A nice relief for a little while. Grief affects every part of your life; work, thinking, driving, listening to music, school, and even sleep. Its consuming for me at least.

I hold on to the old timers here who say it gets better. I hope it does. I know TIME is what they say. At least we have each other to talk to when our friends are away or family is tired of listening to you.

I dont think people can really see what its like unless they have lived it.The ones here have lived it all it seems.

They know what its like to be the BS and the one to not want the D. They know about the court battles to come and the road to recovery. They understand when you want to drive off a cliff and the only thing that stops you are your kids.They know about the pain and how it feels worse than anything you've ever imagined. They know how to answer emails from NPD STBX's that want to continue to hurt you. The loss, the lack of sleep, the d diet.

Its so nice to have a place to come to. So here we are continuing to ride the NC train.

NC=trying to heal

NC= No new hurts

So fellow riders what's for lunch on the train?

[This message edited by sharonons at 11:00 AM, September 7th (Tuesday)]

Hey! Where's lunch? No more spam. Just apply cholesterol directy to the arteries....but it sure tastes good cooked over a fire when camping. And I mean primitive camping ,where the only way to get there is by canoe or kayak. Potty is a hole in the woods. Sounds of nature are all the sounds one hears.

Oh, peace.

Eek is doing his job. Now if I can just stop looking at my phone and email. Stop looking for the whoremobile in my driveway.

Okay. Day is flying by.

Lunch today is leftover stirfry. I used too much hot pepper. AAHHHH!!

N.C. N.C. N.C.

180

DIGNITY.

TJ

your right TJ with the sausage i had for breakfast though imaginary...cholesterol is creeping up.

so i think a nice chicken ceasar salad from wegmanns would hit the spot. Maybe some soup too. I have a long day ahead of me with school after work today. Maybe i'll save the soup for tonight.

anyone else have an order for lunch??

My 9-year old is home with a cold. She made me two cold hotdogs wrapped in Kraft singles for lunch. I put on a show of great gratitude.

that is one of my favorite snacks. i nuke the dogs for about 23 seconds though and then wrap with slice of cheese. it gets just gooey enough. sounds yummy. hugs to dd who is feeding you.

@ jimmy1

I am NC. On board. I tell ya what? It is getting easy for me.

It does work, people. It WORKS.

Love do

PS Hello to angie and sheila.