SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

It is Wednesday, fellow trainees.

Casey's at the bat. No, wait, that's the wrong metaphor. Anyway, the whistle is blowing.

After coffee, and your choice of a selection of muffins (corn, blueberry, raspberry, apple, all gluten free!), and fruit, we will get readycfor our day. They will all be busy. But before we get going, let's all meet in the Car of Calm. Give the pets a hug. Hug Eek. Why,that crazy monkey keeps doing his job when so many of keep falling off so hard....well, guess he loves us. And give each other hugs, sqeezes.

For those of us who keep giving away our dignity without,thinking: let us think it through today. Let us take care of US, and each other today.

Would everyone PLEASE have a good NC day? Please?

Awfully sorry, mommas of babies in diapers, baby powder was used up. Until someone gets to the Shopping car, tapioca flour is available instead. Just narrow your eyes and cover your nose during use.

TJ, we are two alike minds bringing my train ride over to you

Yes it is going to be NC for me today, fell off hard on Monday and then just continued it yesterday to jsut hear his voice and have a "nice" conversation. Then that makes me start thinking maybe things are changing but they never have for the past 2 years and I will just set myself up AGAIN!!! Nope no more of that back to NC because that is what he deserves and I deserve to not be hurt any longer. Let's just stay calm, I like that option for today much better.

Morning fellow riders. Im all for PEACE but alas i dont think I'll have any tonight. This is the appointment that i needed to reschedule to go over sons acting out issues with crazy dr. strangelove. I dont know how i'll be able to sit in

the same room as him.Wish me strength and Peace.

He has not emailed me since he told me no again when i fell off the train and asked him for R again. He has not called the house to talk with his son. No texts on my work phone either. HMMM. Yup I know this is what we want. what we need to heal, but it kinda hurts too. So im being ignored now?

Paralegal called from new office yesterday. She looked over all of my paperwork and will email most of it to me to save time and money. Im so nervous about filing. Its so final.

sipping coffee and waking up slowly. Muffins sound very yummy.

Today kids are back to school. My DD looks very fashionable for her first day in middle school. She's so nervous though she denies that. She's talking all the time and wandering around the house waiting for the bus. I smile and remember those days.

My son is still sleepy moved to the couch. Fighting getting ready and doesnt want to go back to school. Yeah i remember that too.

I sit and ponder if stbx is thinking about the kids first day at school. If he misses watching them get ready. I realize i miss him in the background giving the kids the pep talk before school. Oh well i can improvise and try to be cheerful and put on a fake smile for them. Hugs to all moms and dads out there whos family has been torn apart by stbx's selfish quest for happiness.

NC= No new hurts

I'm on ... I have to txt stbx later to tell him some financial stuff, but still staying NC. I just hate contacting him for anything. That just opens up the chance for NC.

As for seeing the kiddos getting ready for school ... last year at this time stbx was putting them onthe bus every morning ... now, we have had to improvise on our morning routine, they have to get up earlier but I am so lucky because I get to see them everymorning and get to see how very cute they look heading out to school.

I'm aboard again today. Thank you for making the coffee!

Woke up this morning from a very graphic and unprintable dream about XWW. I blame everyone else who has been having dreams about their ex's lately. That crap is catching.

Still, it's still NC if it's in your subconscious, right?

Two sick kids today, Grammy is coming over to watch them while I work. Muffins do sound good. Think I need to get baking this morning before work. I wish I had some blueberries.

Sweaterdog and the schnauzer won't go outside because it's raining. I remember when dogs were real men.

Happy Wednesday everybody. I am Jack's desire to get better.

Good morning! I am on board. Got smart and blocked his number (function of the phone) on the house phone. Now if he "wants" something he has to practice delayed gratification and email as he has been asked to do repeatedly. And the kids have a measure of control. They get to decide what time to call. It doesn't take long for homework and soccer to drive the days. Such a busy season!

Happy Wednesday everyone!

OH CRap fell off slightly. I emailed him that i wish he was here to see the kids get on the bus and his step daughters first day in middle school.

I said i missed him and hearing his pre school pep talk to the kids. I told him i still loved him.... WTF.

Ok tears were spilled over that and now moving on to NC until tonight when i see him at FC appt to discuss son.

OMG whats wrong with me? So many things i have to do alone now with the kids. So many firsts without him in our broken family. God give me strength to do this alone for my babies...

I am on board but oh so tempted to fall off. WH coming to "babysit" the kids tonight while I go to yoga. According to FIL, WH is still sore that I think his money would have been better spent getting separate beds for the kids for when they sleep over rather than buying a big new HD TV. How can he not get that the kids are the priority here?

I also was weak and looked at FB accounts. MOW & her BH are still "married" to EO and posting quips about it on other's walls. I still question whether MOW's H really knows what's going on - if it was really him that answered my informant message or if he mistakenly thinks the A is over. I am so tempted to message him again to ask if he has any "evidence" that I can give to my lawyer so I can file for D using adultery. This of course would p/o WH, MOW & possibly MOWBH who asked me not to contact him as he wanted to move on.

I really don't think I want WH back, certainly not who he is right now and I also run the risk of messing up our "civil" relations for the kids sake. But I can't help wanting to f/up the WH & MOW's lives too. I am usually a nice person but they are bringing out the worst in me...

[This message edited by Evolution at 8:14 AM, September 8th (Wednesday)]

morning,

Still here.. have a good day everyone.

I really don't think I want WH back, certainly not who he is right now and I also run the risk of messing up our "civil" relations for the kids sake. But I can't help wanting to f/up the WH & MOW's lives too. I am usually a nice person but they are bringing out the worst in me...

I could have wrote this, I too question if the person I had on a 3 way conversation was really WH since I got very little reaction when OW told him she was having an A and we were on the other line...

I have tried to find out the man's phone number and now can do it but just trying to decide what I want, does it really matter at this point I am supposed to be trying to find peace but just also want the revenge of F... up MOW life as she has continued to do to me!

OK ekk where are you, NC=No New Hurt, Peace = No new pain!!

ASG- Are you doing OK, I see you are going to bed way to early sometimes as do I, just wanted to send you a hug!!!

Good Morning Trainees.

I'm back onboard. Forced contact over the weekend. My WS's a disappointment as a human being.

No apologies, remorse or kind words from his mouth. He pretends all is well.

How does a person get so messed up?

(((Trainees)))

We keep falling off because we want them to come back and be part of the family again. We are kind, loving people.

IMHO: We do not love these adulterers as they are now. R is bery difficult. The more time that goes by, the less likely any of them will, and very unlikely R will be successful. My husband is doing nothing to earn my trust. Period. I do not love this man. I do not like this man. His behavior proves he wants to keep the bakery open. And that bakery ain't got no gluten free goodies. All baked goods there make me very ill.

No more.

Early lunch today, short schedule due to class meetings. So it is leftover stir fry, makd ur own sandwiches, and bananas, in honor of poor beleaguered Eek.

Onward!!

TJ

They dont deserve it do they Tammy jean??

No response from him about the email is sent about the first day of school for the kids. I fell off NC for nothing again.You think i would learn.

Guess it proves he made his choice once and for all and he's not part of the family anymore. It sucks and hits home pretty hard right now.

We keep falling off because we want them to come back and be part of the family again. We are kind, loving people.

Oh yes we are and we are the ones that keep getting hurt because of our nice behavior...no more of that. It is like the analogy of keep putting your hand on a hot stove.

I do need to say EKK let me sneak by again last night to call WH to "thank him" for checking on the UI compensation and I was in my nice mood unlike the night before. Talked for about 10 minutes listening about his life and then he needed to go because it was starting to rain and he needed to get some tools picked up. SOOOOOO what do I see on the phone records today, MOW called him about 1/2 hour later and he proceeds to talk for 45 minutes. Yep Dreamer burned with that hot stove again...

Not sure why the Rat Bastard has not told her to stop calling on that phone like I requested last week, that is going to stop or I will have her number blocked I am not partly paying for that bill so he can talk to the woman who helped destroy my family.

I was already struggling today with my feelings that have come up over the last 2 days and how I was getting sucked in AGAIN, needed the wake up call,Thanks EKK for showing me the way.

So back to the school car to write a 4 page paper, a 2 page paper and study for a math test tomorrow, That is where my future is going to be when I finish my degree

The days are flying past.

The distraction is good.

But doesn't solve the anger issue. I work with students who have major learning and social issues. We talk about problems and how to solve them. We even had one heck of discussion on lying today. Why people do it, and why is is not, in the end, a good idea.

So why the HELL can we not take the advice we give to others???

Good grief.

The adulterers, liars, cheaters, most of them, have shown us they are NOT NOT NOT going to change their behavior. Period.

The hot stove concept. Well, I'm a tired a bein' burned. Fire extinguishers have been reloaded. They were all waayy overdue for inspection. Aloe lotion is available next to the tissues and kittie wipes.

Matches are to be used only to (1) light a candle (2) burn away odiferous farts.

Dinner, anyone?

TJ

Tammy j i think you told me that even counselors cant take thier own advice.

We cant see past our hearts. For others we can tell them advice, give great suggestions. When its our own life its so hard.

But somehow we find each other... Your words too. You help so many people here and hopefully you feel supported by us.

What should dinner be?

hello,

Just a quick afternoon check in.... seems I stopped by in the nick of time to offer these words (since I didn't this morning)... perhaps an answer TJ...

Learning is finding out what you already know. Doing is demonstrating that you know it. Teaching is reminding others that they know just as well as you. You are all learners, doers, and teachers.

We teach best what we most need to learn

- Richard bach

hope all is well everyone

-ASG