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notasaint (original poster member #28465) posted at 3:47 AM on Saturday, October 30th, 2010
Stephanie Carnes
Amazon is out :(
Me - BW 36
Him - FWH 38 SLA (newlywednupset)
M < 1 year
D-days 8/2009 and 4/2010 TT to 10/2010
3 OW over the course of 2 years, all older, one married.
* My husband was in an open relationship from day one, he just failed to tell ME this.*
7yrsbetrayed ( member #10198) posted at 8:41 AM on Saturday, October 30th, 2010
You can get Mending a Shattered Heart directly from Gentle Path Press for $19.95
https://www.gentlepath.com/node/2060
It's good but there are others that are great too.
Deceived
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1592856985/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0977440060&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=029NYW8MBVC5PQGBF1YM
and
Your Sexually Addicted Spouse
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0882823094/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_2?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0977440060&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=029NYW8MBVC5PQGBF1YM
Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand
Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 3:11 AM on Sunday, October 31st, 2010
I second those recommendations. But I think you should read the Carnes book too. Barnes and Noble has it for $27.
Me-BS-71 in May HIM-SAFWH-74 I just wanted a normal life.Normal trauma would have been appreciated.
notasaint (original poster member #28465) posted at 3:24 AM on Sunday, October 31st, 2010
Thank you! I actually ordered all the books you suggested 7 but Mending was the only one out of stock. We have so many books coming it's scary.
Me - BW 36
Him - FWH 38 SLA (newlywednupset)
M < 1 year
D-days 8/2009 and 4/2010 TT to 10/2010
3 OW over the course of 2 years, all older, one married.
* My husband was in an open relationship from day one, he just failed to tell ME this.*
Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 3:31 AM on Sunday, October 31st, 2010
It is also disheartening that Mending is so often out of stock. Tells you something about the horrible invasive nature of this addiction.
And the damage it causes.
Me-BS-71 in May HIM-SAFWH-74 I just wanted a normal life.Normal trauma would have been appreciated.
7yrsbetrayed ( member #10198) posted at 6:46 PM on Monday, November 1st, 2010
In my experience it's best to read the books for spouses first and then perhaps to read "Don't Call It Love: Recovery From Sexual Addiction" by Patrick Carnes
I personally don't recommend that spouses read "Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction" by Patrick Carnes. I've seen it do a lot of damage to "just found out" spouses because it's really written to scare the SA, the spouse doesn't need to be scared. (She's already really traumatized) Perhaps much later in recovery it would be okay for the spouse but early on I just don't think it's helpful. Of course that is just my opinion. 
7
Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand
notasaint (original poster member #28465) posted at 8:48 PM on Monday, November 1st, 2010
Thank you for noting that! I'll definitely leave that one for last then. I've got several books about As too here at the house so I'll probably alternate.
Yes, it's horrible to think Mending is out of stock because the problem is so prevalent!
Me - BW 36
Him - FWH 38 SLA (newlywednupset)
M < 1 year
D-days 8/2009 and 4/2010 TT to 10/2010
3 OW over the course of 2 years, all older, one married.
* My husband was in an open relationship from day one, he just failed to tell ME this.*
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