SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

To the other BS out there -

When did you change your FB status to "Separated"?

At first I didn't want people to know, but with R having failed and the holidays approaching, my feelings are changing. I'm thinking of changing my status as a way of letting more of my friends know what's going on (many have scattered across the country due to layoffs and job changes) because I'll need the extra support through the holidays.

I didn't know there was a "separated" option--when I joined it said single or married or "it's complicated"...

[This message edited by KLinNoCA at 8:25 PM, November 3rd (Wednesday)]

I changed my status from married to nothing at some point during the divorce. I've got my teens and a handful of their real life friends as fb friends, so I try to be extra careful about stuff like that on facebook, for my kids' sakes.

I changed mine to nothing, then single when the D was final

I changed mine to single when I filed. Not because I want a date - I don't, most of my FB friends are actual female friends - but it was just one small step for me to accepting my singleness and moving forward.

Mine was "It's Complicated" during separation and changed it to "Single" the day the divorce was final. I joined FB during the separation so I never had "Married" as my relationship status.

I kept it as "married" until several months ago, when I just took the status out altogether. Anyone who is my friend on FB knows the situation. It's not that important an aspect of FB.

I didn't. I waited for the divorced to be final and changed it that day to "divorced".

I don't use the status.

Mine is still set to Married, and for the exact same reason that you gave.

When we first seperated i had hoped that it would be temporary, that she would change her mind. So i didnt change it then just in case, i didnt want to go publicising it to all my old school cammarades and the other people that i know.

But for the last couple of weeks ive been feeling like im ready to change it now. Ive been waiting because i want to have a sit down talk to STBXW about the comming holidays, how were going to manage that, and yes also to assess if she has any incling of changing her mind. If not then afterwards im going to set it to Seperated.

Perhapes ill get some comments perhapes not... Im primarily changing it as a signal to myself.... a small step shall we say in putting that misplaced hope behind me.

Meh, i was one of the first in my circle to have kids, to get married.... seems appropriate to be one of the first to get a D too

I changed mine from Married to nothing set once I filed for D.

It went to "it's complicated" immediately b/c he showed no remorse and nearly everyone knew right away (he told me he had to tell everyone b/c he "knew" that I'd tell everyone on FB that he cheated. I never said that outright in all this time.)

Anyway...

It went back to "married" for a few days when he pretended he was going to go to counseling.It was just a ploy to buy time til he got a big bonus and could move out on me.

Back to "complicated" it went.

I left it that way forever, but it bothered me. It was obvious what that means to most people- trouble.

I actually posted a thread, and asked everyone for input once. I also asked they keep the responses kind and leave him out of them.

They complied.

And they were amazing.

The best was from a friend of mine who is a widow. She said she was mad there wasn't a way to write TWO statuses. Single and Widowed.

Or since she was now dating, in a relationship AND widowed.

B/c she said...

we are many at once in these situations, and for her not honoring her husband felt wrong still.

Anyway...

I really got that.

Then a few weeks later I finally figured out how to hide that status anyway, and tho it still says, "It's complicated," no one can see it so they'd have to ask me if they were really that curious.

[This message edited by jaded_and_lost at 7:31 AM, November 4th (Thursday)]

I don't get the "it's complicated" option. Either you are married or unmarried.

I put single rather than divorced just because I want to.

Immediately after separation I changed from Married to nothing. Now that I am much stronger and feel I am having a new beginning, I am as single as it can get. I have it as single. I am doing it all over again. At 26 I have a long way ahead. Divorce is too much detail and as it is in my country we may never get divorced unless either of us goes mad!!

Anyone else tempted to put "open relationship" Technically we are both still married and he is and has been involved w someone for over a year.

Actually what I did was just take off the status completely when he left.

In the beginning, I had to "it's complicated" then changed it to married. That's when the OW saw it. I know for sure she was stalking my profile. She has WH's passwords for FB and changed his status to "engaged".

Hello, you delusional prostitution whore...He and I are still legally married. Whatever!

My status stays hidden. When I am reday to make it public I will but right now I am not at that stage of recovery.

About 2 months into separation, I used the "complicated" status. Then he filed for D about 4 months in, and I changed it to single. F him.

The day I kicked him out (the first time), I changed mine from "married" to "single." I had STBX's password, so I changed his from "married" to "in a relationship." He came back for a while, and one of my conditions was that he change it back to "married" which he did (I left mine as "single"). Then, after he left for good, I went in and changed it back to "in a relationship." So all his FB friends know what an ass he is.

Mine stayed "single" until I was with my SO for 2 months - now I am "in a relationship" too. (Interestingly, MOW, who STBX is now living with, never changed her status from "married" even though she is legally separated with intent to D.)

WW and I coordinated this, and at midnight of our day of separation we both changed to "separated." I was happy to see that FB didn't immediately pop a mention of the change into my newsfeed

The way things are going, that'll be the last time we ever coordinate something like that. Which is no big loss.