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Newest Member: Asterisk

Just Found Out :
A quick survey

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 Feb 8, 2011 (original poster member #31137) posted at 5:19 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

My WW might be interested in the results...please answer yes or no...

Is there anyone on here who has completely gotten over the discovery of their WS's affair in 21 days and moved on as a happy, well-adjusted person immune to triggers and mind-movies?

D-Day see username
and maybe March 11, 11
ME: 45 yr old BH
Her: 40 yr old WW
3 kids
married 11 years
Who is this woman in my house?!

posts: 717   ·   registered: Feb. 9th, 2011   ·   location: canada
id 5106417
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Kamkim ( member #29672) posted at 5:21 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

no

8 months from dday, not even close to over it, and all he did was send OW text messages.

[This message edited by Kamkim at 11:34 AM, March 1st (Tuesday)]

posts: 2556   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2010
id 5106424
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sad/madtothebone ( member #29150) posted at 5:22 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

Will be 9 months on the 4th, and that would be a BIG no. Only a rug sweeper of epic proportions would be "over it" in 21 days. Just my very jaded opinion.

Feeling like I will never know the truth. Wondering if I can live without it or will it eat me up in the end?

posts: 313   ·   registered: Jul. 26th, 2010   ·   location: N. TX
id 5106428
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phoenix_vs ( member #29193) posted at 5:22 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

Do people heal from bad childhood experiences in 21 days?

Or do they deal with the fallout for years? Or maybe for life?

I'm not sad that you lied to me. I'm sad that I can never believe you again.

Well, I'm sad that you lied to me, too.

posts: 371   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2010   ·   location: Great Falls Montana
id 5106429
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deb3129 ( member #30315) posted at 5:22 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

no

I am pessimistically optimistic


Me- 45
WH- 38
Married 15 years, together 18. Two kids together, boys age 11 and 12.
DDay-11/29/2010
I never knew that something could be this painful and not kill you.

posts: 836   ·   registered: Dec. 6th, 2010   ·   location: Southeast Texas
id 5106430
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Between a Rock ( member #30871) posted at 5:24 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

No for me as well.

But you, you’ve gone too far this time
You have neither reason nor rhyme
With which to take this soul that is so rightfully mine

posts: 51   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2011
id 5106434
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canttrusthim ( new member #27794) posted at 5:25 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

NO :( A year out and still trying to move on!

It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I would have missed the first time we kissed cuz you broke all of your promises
And now your back....You dont get me back..and who do you think you are

posts: 41   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2010
id 5106440
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Drew_n_Va ( member #31043) posted at 5:26 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

Not hardly. I'm over a month in and it has only become slightly less intolerable for me.

Me: BH 62 her: fWW 53 Married 30 years 3 Beautiful Kids (26, 19, 17)D-Day: 1-26-11Status: Reconciled"From Happy to Separated to Divorcing to living together again in 16 Days."

Endeavor to Persevere

posts: 449   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2011   ·   location: Va
id 5106444
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sayitisntso ( member #24953) posted at 5:26 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

that would be a NO

(hugs Feb8)

Me: BW
Him: WH
DC: 13
DDay: May 2009
In limbo until he walked out
Separated Sept 2017

posts: 132   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2009   ·   location: where I never thought I'd be
id 5106445
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toby ( member #10337) posted at 5:26 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

No.

posts: 1774   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2006   ·   location: Texas
id 5106446
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circlingthedrain ( member #25733) posted at 5:27 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

No, I'm out 3+ years and still have triggers quite often. They are less severe than when I was closer to D-day but they are still there. This is your new normal.

BH (me), 53
FWW (Her) 55
DD18, DS15
D-Day 12/23/2007
R going well

Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then --- Bob Seger

posts: 341   ·   registered: Oct. 4th, 2009   ·   location: East Coast
id 5106448
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velveteer ( member #30997) posted at 5:27 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

nope - 6 weeks out and nowhere near it.

Divorced

posts: 886   ·   registered: Jan. 27th, 2011
id 5106451
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 Feb 8, 2011 (original poster member #31137) posted at 5:28 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

Wow...this is going to be more one-sided than a Libyan election.

[This message edited by Feb 8, 2011 at 11:28 AM, March 1st (Tuesday)]

D-Day see username
and maybe March 11, 11
ME: 45 yr old BH
Her: 40 yr old WW
3 kids
married 11 years
Who is this woman in my house?!

posts: 717   ·   registered: Feb. 9th, 2011   ·   location: canada
id 5106453
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victory ( member #31088) posted at 5:28 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

I'm guessing this was asked as a rhetorical question.

Absolutely not! She's obviously still thinking crazy if she thinks the answer would be yes.

Dday- 1-26-11 (7 month PA)
BH (me)-41
WW- 37
3 little kids (6-8-10)
married 11 yrs, together 17
Divorced summer 2012 (I think)
I HAVE CUSTODY OF MY GIRLS!!!

posts: 204   ·   registered: Feb. 4th, 2011
id 5106456
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thenon-goddess ( member #31229) posted at 5:29 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

Please tell me she does not truly believe that. Ugh....

Divorced! 4/1/16

posts: 1509   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011
id 5106458
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Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 5:35 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

I am 5 years out from the first A.

I will never be over it completely.

Let me repeat: never.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

posts: 9299   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Western PA
id 5106475
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phoenix_vs ( member #29193) posted at 5:35 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

They don't get it.

How many of us have heard "How much longer are you going to throw this in my face"?

Or the other classic "Get over it"!

You get over it. You broke up ten years ago. I guess.

Oh, ya, I'm still angry.

I'm not sad that you lied to me. I'm sad that I can never believe you again.

Well, I'm sad that you lied to me, too.

posts: 371   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2010   ·   location: Great Falls Montana
id 5106479
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SusanR ( member #29368) posted at 5:36 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

I'm out 6 months and I still feel fragile.

After 21 days, I was still mush.

posts: 1970   ·   registered: Aug. 19th, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 5106481
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tryingtosmile ( member #30979) posted at 5:36 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

Big huge No. I couldn't even function for a month after I found out I was in such severe shock.

[This message edited by tryingtosmile at 11:37 AM, March 1st (Tuesday)]

B/S Me 37
W/S Him 37
OW Former Coworker OC born 5/11
4 DS 18,17,11,6 months

posts: 273   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2011   ·   location: TX
id 5106482
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cdnmommy ( member #30182) posted at 5:36 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

Are one-word yes or no the only acceptable answers?

Because I was going to answer "Yes, those who have had a lobotomy."

Me: BW
DDay: Oct 2010 + 6 weeks false R
2.5 (+?) year A with married coworker/my "friend"
2 great kids
Reconciling and healing

posts: 1795   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2010
id 5106483
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