SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

We are glad you are here. Let's take a tour, shall we?

Behind you, we have the Year One Hall of Hell. While you will never have to travel back there again, it will follow you for awhile and you will cast furtive glances towards it was a very dangerous place for you. Be mindful it is there, but don't turn back and travel down it again.

Ahead, you have The What the Fuck, Are you Serious, this Really Happened Hotel. The amenitites of this fine establishment include the Unnumbing Spa. Here, the general sense of disbelief you've held for the past year becomes an acceptance that what happened, happened, and can't be undone. The WTF Hotel also features the Anger Gym and the Who Am I Lounge which you will bounce between on occasion.

Outside the WTF Hotel lies The Plain of Lethal Flatness. Here, you won't give a shit about anything. You will generally be thinking "really? this is my life? serious? are you shitting me? I don't know what I want, who I want, and I certainly don't understand why I don't want any of it, but I don't."

Beyond the Plain lies something called Progress and Healing and Real Acceptance. Be patient. It appears you must spend your time in the Hotel and the Plain before you can journey further. Eventually transportation will be provided. Don't ignore too many options for transport as you do not want to be stuck in either place for too long.

Thank you, and good luck on your journey.

Year Two SUCKS.

Just had to say that.

Carry on.

Well said!

You have the ability to always make me laugh!

I'm starting Year 2 in a not so bad place, but I can refer to this when (if) it tanks.

It doesn't appear to be a linear journey. Lately, I've been taking day trips between WTF Hotel, and The Plain, interspersed with some really good, legitimate Acceptance visits.

Your post is so spot on! Unfortunately my H chose to kind of blow things up in year two, so it set things back.

Although I think he is still vacillating between year one and year two right now in his healing due to not dealing with things. And we are quickly heading towards year three.

My healing seems to be on the fast track and I was really having trouble with the flatness and the WTF factor. Lately I am moving towards real acceptance and that feels good.

Year two is a real bitch. Hang on for the ride. I thought one was hard, but nothing compared to two. I think year two is where the BS has to really make the choice to start healing and stay in the marriage or not. It is a really tough choice.

Great post rebreather!

Rebreather,

What would we do with out you? I guess the fact that I can actually laugh at this post is a good sign.

Speaking of tours, when does your one woman stand up fall tour start???

It doesn't appear to be a linear journey. Lately, I've been taking day trips between WTF Hotel, and The Plain, interspersed with some really good, legitimate Acceptance visits.

^^Me too, DW, me too^^

(((((rebreather)))))

Thanks Rebreather, you made me laugh out loud (not an easy task as I enter the WTF hotel ). Are you implying that our Sept 2011 club is dominating the R board lately? LOL

For months, I have read this board and thought that I would somehow avoid the 2nd year woes. And here I am, exactly 8 days into year 2, and find myself thinking all day long - WTF? This really happened?

Thank you for reminding us that we are normal. I have been feeling a little crazy

Thank you rebreather for this rated r preview of the upcoming attraction at my local. Not there yet, but thanks for the synopsis. Be well.

Nailed it.

Exhausted, it's hard to see so many of you struggling in the same place. It's my codpendance! LOL I want to make it easier for you somehow, but I know you just have to go through the stages and the process. But you ARE normal, that is for sure. Nobody ever said normal wasn't shitty, right?

Im about 6 weeks into year two. Ive already visited the WTF Hotel,but can't seem to stay out of the Angry Gym. I long to visit The Plain. But,alas,WH keeps saying stupid shit,and I find myself living in the Gym.

Spot on post,rebreather. As usual.

BRILLIANT! Totally BRILLIANT!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE...

Can you do a Year 3 for me? I'll frame it!!

Rebreather - I sent you a pm, like yesterday!

This is brilliant!!

Made me laugh out loud, I may even send it to my MC.

I am firmly i year two and looking forward to my transportation!!

It doesn't appear to be a linear journey.

Agreed on the not linear. I met anger first. WTF came and went quickly. Anger returned (at myself the second time - why did I let your stupid and childish actions impact my life? oh because I thought you were a grown up.) Lethal Plain is here but fading. I really like it here but if I stay I will leave if you know what I mean.

Acceptance is just around the corner. I can actually see it. It's like truth - its exists but is a shadow that keeps moving on me.

Truth is I have healed mostly on my own and now if I want it to work I have to let her back in. She doesn't know the way so I need to show her.

Thanks for the laugh Rebreather.

Take care...

We are a few months into year 2 and omg, this is SO spot-on. Year 2 sucks!

Acceptance is just around the corner. I can actually see it. It's like truth - its exists but is a shadow that keeps moving on me.

Truth is I have healed mostly on my own and now if I want it to work I have to let her back in. She doesn't know the way so I need to show her.

Change the her to him, and this is how I feel. Standing still on this I guess. I think when I get to total acceptance, I can truly let him back in.

That made me laugh! Thanks! And jayzus -- how the hell am I going to survive that long? I honestly just want to lie down and float away right now...

I am two months into yr 2 and I am on the Plain. Its not that I dont care but right now I dont care. KWIM?