SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I got home late last night from dinner and movie with a buddy. Was thinking about my relationship with STBXW (as usual), and came to a realization that I never had before - not sure why I was so slow on the draw with this.

Back in November (a few days before DDay), WW was invited to a threesome by her female friend (who we'll refer to as Tramp). They were planning on doing it with one of Tramp's married boyfriends. This always pissed me off, of course.

However, I was so caught up in her lying, sneaking, and cheating, that I lost track of the fact that this is a married man!

So not only was WW willing to ruin our marriage, she was willing to help Tramp commit more crimes against this guy's wife. Not only was WW a wayward, she was also one of the OWs.

The guy was thrown out by his wife for screwing yet another woman, and I don't know his last name, so I can't even find out who he is, to talk to his wife - but that's probably unnecessary at this point anyhow.

Anyhow, now that WW's additional crime has hit me, it's hit me like a ton of bricks. I mean, she used to always say how she thought it was disgraceful that Tramp was screwing two married guys (they didn't know about each other), yet she was totally willing to screw one of them in her little dream orgy.

I hardly slept last night. Didn't get out of bed until 2:30 this afternoon. Didn't eat until I had some yogurt with granola a few minutes ago. Had a very upset stomach all day.

I don't know why this is hitting me so hard after our marriage has already ended, but I just can't focus on anything, and can't stop crying. Didn't do any work at all today.

The anti-depressants are NOT doing their job.

[This message edited by pass at 11:56 PM, April 11th (Thursday)]

Sorry to hear that, Pass. Hang in there!

My sluttymcskankfish X helped break up another marriage after our divorce. I came to realize that I almost want to THANK the first guy for get'n her out of my life. It's pathetic the crap they believed in before, and what they do now. Just a completely different person with no morals or values.

You will get to the point of being so much happier and "free" from the crap. Stay strong.

A similar situation helped to me conclude that the X just doesn't have empathy. It ain't there. He doesn't put himself in other people's shoes. The rest of the world is barefoot as far as he concerned, and he walks around breaking glass. It isn't his problem.

Accepting that they just don't care about anyone is hard to come to grips with. On the other hand, if they don't care about anyone else, their callousness isn't directed at you...

((pass)) Hang in there - the pain dulls, it gets better. And there are some wonderful genuine folk in the world, that are a pleasure to be around! And maybe even one who is wondering where the hell you are hiding...

[This message edited by Take2 at 8:31 AM, April 12th (Friday)]

(((Pass)))

It's all very recent, so this is totally normal and part of the process.

I can't count the number of days and nights when I felt just like that, but I know they're behind me now.

When the drama subsides and we get some quiet time alone, that's when we start to process the awful realities of what they were involved with.

It's truly mind-boggling.

It gets better. Trust me on that one.

PS :

sluttymcskankfish

OMG ^^^

Pass,

I'm sorry you're hurting.

This is all part of the healing process, however, to try to recognize, process and then detach from your WS. It takes a while, and can be very painful, but you will emerge a healthier person.

Take care of yourself.

^^^^^ My thoughts are exactly how foxglove put it. It does hurt like hell, but you WILL heal.

(((pass)))

Sorry pass mate. My WW (now X) also destroyed another marriage and young family. OM was (is) married. I guess she justified it because she knew at the time that his wife was also having an affair.

Right from the start I was disgusted with the lot of them. Yes it hurt, but it also let me see WW for who she was and is. That helped me detach.

Now - this stings a whole lot less.

hang in there - it will get better.