OK, this is not directly D/S, but you all so much understand kids. i need help.
DS16 has a gf who is 14 years old. I never really liked this, but figured once he got into his sophomore year, he would get bored with her/outgrow her. That hasn’t happened. They’ve gone out for almost a year now. I always thought it was strange her parents would allow their 14 year old daughter to date a 16 year old.
DS16 is really close to gf’s family, especially the mom. Since the affair and the divorce proceedings began, he has spent a lot of time over there. Said it’s the only place he has where he’s not constantly confronted with the reality of the family breaking up. I have allowed it.
DS16 also has had a very tenuous relationship with his mom since the affair and the divorce stuff started. He has always been a momma’s boy. It has really upset STBX, but I figured it was mostly due to him feeling betrayed. STBX just needs to give him time, and own this is a consequence of her choice.
Now, I am starting to think gf’s mom (henceforth known as creepy mom), is brainwashing/manipulating my son. I know this sounds crazy, but hear me out. About a month ago, creepy mom told DS16 they would not allow gf to contact him and vice versa while he stayed with STBX. Their reasoning was to protect her from the non-Christian things going on over there. I told him creepy mom was manipulating him, but he wouldn’t accept that.
So now he never stays with his mom and barely speaks to her. Sometimes, he barely speaks to me. (I know, that’s typical teenage stuff) I figured so long as I provided a safe and secure home for him, he would be ok. he would come around.
There have been other manipulation tactics over the past too. Like buying him gifts, inviting him to certain events, but not others (like gf’s 8th grade graduation), inviting other boys to do things with gf, but not him (and posting it on FB for him to see), making her break up with him, and then fashioning a reconciliation, making him a scrap book of their relationship, guilt tripping him over past relationships with other girls, and many others.
I’ve tried to point this out to him, and I thought he would eventually see it. But he’s so foggy now, I can no longer get to him. Then I found the text messages. About 30 minutes ago, I discovered DS16 and creepy mom exchanged over 3700 text messages for the May to June billing cycle. Several of those have occurred well into the evening and after midnight. I am truly afraid.
Creepy mom has another daughter who is several years older. STBX shared with me, stories of creepy mom brainwashing her other daughter’s former boyfriends, in a similar fashion. There are three that I know of, and all tell a similar tale. One of them described it as almost a cult thing. Creepy mom would even impersonate her daughter in emails to these boys. One of those ladies is supposed to call me tonight.
DS16 says he’s in love with his gf, and creepy mom talks to him about their future; of him marrying gf and having kids. So, I’m totally worried.
I’m so upset with myself for allowing this to go on. What should I do next? Call the police? Block her number? If I were texting a 16 year old girl like that, I would look like a huge pervert. I am just sick. I have half a mind to go over to their house and confront this crazy bitch, but maybe a letter from my lawyer would be better?