This Topic is Archived
Flatlined123 (original poster member #35862) posted at 11:01 AM on Thursday, July 11th, 2013
I discovered H affair.
I'm not sure how I feel. Seems like any other day. For that I'm thankful. I think I'm getting better.
But...I want H to recognize its significance in our history. Just a long hug and an I love you would be enough. I may not want this next year, but this year I do.
He's got a lot on his mind with work right now. I'm pretty sure this is the last thing he's thinking about.
I'm just glad I'm in a good place with this right now. 
Me: BS H: WS4 kids DD #1 7-11-08DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.Started R in 12-09"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."
MartlArts ( member #36130) posted at 4:14 PM on Thursday, July 11th, 2013
Glad you're in a good place. I agree you should find a way to remind him that it's an antiversary for you, and I hope he steps up with what you need.
excerpt from an awesome quote "Forgiveness - the finishing of old business that allows us to experience the present, free of contamination from the past."
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 4:14 PM on Thursday, July 11th, 2013
(((Flatlined)))
It's a wonderful feeling as we heal and dates hurt less. Sounds like you are on a good path of healing. Sending you strength.
mrcpu ( member #38157) posted at 4:29 PM on Thursday, July 11th, 2013
Ah.. the Antiversary. I marked it monthly for the first 2 or 3 months after D-Day. I imagine on the 22nd of December this year I will be marking it again. This time though, I hope to be marking the Antiversary as 1 year of successful reconciliation and a better marriage.
Tell your H how you feel. That you need him to show you that he is still sorry and grateful you kept him.
D-Day 1: 22 Dec 2012 - Confirmed WW was having an affair with my xBFF
D-Day 2: 22 July 2014 - Caught WW working on a hookup online with local real estate agent.
D-Day 3: 18 Dec 2014 - Caught WW Breaking NC with my xBFF for past 2 months via text.
Rebreather ( member #30817) posted at 12:41 AM on Friday, July 12th, 2013
Has he remembered yet? How are you hanging in?
We acknolwedged very dday antiversary for the first 5. The we agreed that for this year, year 6, we'd try to ignore it. I couldn't. I really tried! He did totally forget which in some ways are good and bad. Eventually I pointed it out, explained why I was stabby, and he did all the right things.
These days mean a lot to me. Be sure to honor what you need, Flatlined - even this far out. Hope you are doing ok!
Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi
Flatlined123 (original poster member #35862) posted at 1:30 AM on Friday, July 12th, 2013
Hubs called me as soon as he knew I'd be out of work He didn't mention it though.
When I got home he gave me the best hug and awesomist kiss 
in front of the kids who said "Eeewwww" 
I asked him what that was for and he said it was because he was glad to be able to come home to me. He realizes how things could have been so different, so wrong if I had choose not to stay.
That was all I needed to hear. Then he had a promised whisper in my ear for tonight!
Oh, yeah. We are so in a much better place.
[This message edited by Flatlined123 at 7:35 PM, July 11th (Thursday)]
Me: BS H: WS4 kids DD #1 7-11-08DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.Started R in 12-09"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:34 PM on Friday, July 12th, 2013
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
1Faith ( member #38975) posted at 3:45 PM on Friday, July 12th, 2013
Dear Flatlined
Regardless if he is busy or not I think you need to let him know how you are feeling.
He most likely isn't going to remember because he wants to forget the pain and hurt it caused.
For the first year every month on the 16th (DDay) I would tell my husband this is going to be a really hard day for me.
The one year anniversary, I told him although I am in a good place I really hate this day.
My husband responded that he was sorry, thanked me for standing by him and gave me a huge hug.
Embrace your feelings because they matter.
Simply say "It's been a year today. I am proud of how far we have come but it is still a hard day for me"
Good luck and I am so glad you are in a good place.
(((hugs)))
Sometimes my life feels like a test I didn't study for
flygirl96 ( member #22954) posted at 8:47 PM on Friday, July 12th, 2013
This Topic is Archived
