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Flatlined123 (original poster member #35862) posted at 11:54 AM on Saturday, August 10th, 2013
H has been switched to midnight shift. He came home this morning and we took advantage of no one being up yet 
Afterwards, my mind just started rolling with one thought after another. Funny thing was he sighed and said what a great way to start the weekend, and I thought "No, you shitbird, it isn't with these thoughts running through my head."
I can't seem, even after being at 4 years out, to get the thoughts of he did this or he did that with her out of my head.
We've talked about it so many times that I don't even mention it anymore. He would if I wanted to, but what's the use? So I just suck it up and deal with it.
What a shitty way to start the weekend. 
Me: BS H: WS4 kids DD #1 7-11-08DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.Started R in 12-09"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."
blakesteele ( member #38044) posted at 12:02 PM on Saturday, August 10th, 2013
Hang in there...we are experiencing similar issues. Sex was fun at some point in our marriage.....now we have soo much heavy stuff tied to this it is.....well....not fun.
Mind movies suck....
ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred.
LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 10:31 PM on Saturday, August 10th, 2013
I'm sorry you are still dealing with mind movies, Flatlined.
Have these mind movies been occurring steadily ever since d-day, or do you go through phases?
I seem to go through phases with mine, and I'm hoping they don't come back as intensely as they used to.
Hang in there. Hope your weekend gets better.
Flatlined123 (original poster member #35862) posted at 3:46 AM on Sunday, August 11th, 2013
The thoughts come and go. I think it's because we haven't been spending as much timisn'gether with the schedule change.
I just hate that I let OW still get in my head. I hate that what once was just ours isn't and never will be anymore.
I want my freakin' fairytale back!
Me: BS H: WS4 kids DD #1 7-11-08DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.Started R in 12-09"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."
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