SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

WH has been out of the house for 6 weeks. I kept the marital home - he rented a house and signed a year lease.

Someone outside of SI suggested I need to take WH off the utilities so that he cannot unilaterally make decisions about them. What will the utility companies say? What proof do I need?

Also what about the utilities he is the sole person listed? For example our trash is in his name only.

Yes, change them into your name. At a whim he can cancel the utilities. My XWW was very vindictive. Our cell plan was in her name. After we separated it was agreed I would pay cell bill as I needed that number for work. (Had that number on all my business cards and contacts) One day I refused to engage her in her lunacy. She promptly turned off my service. I was able to get a new number the next day and sent out an e-mail listing my new number to all my business contacts. But you know that people rarely act on those. So the old number was getting a lot of calls. She activated an old phone to that number and started to answer my calls. And what she had said to my contacts was not pretty. Thank God most of them called my office line and asked what was going on. But I had to explain my personal business to them and it was very embarrassing.

The utilities could be hit or miss, I would call and just explain the situation, that he's moved out and so the utilities need to be in your name only.

Same with the trash, just call them up and say that you are now taking over the account and need to change the name on it.

I dont think it would be to big of an issue since its not like you are turning them off, as long as they get their money, they probably dont care who's name is on the account.

If you haven't yet, you should also change the locks on the house.

Utility companies will say oh, for the most part. You are not the first customer that has separated.

Some will treat you like crap and make you set up new accounts, like a new customer, even though you have been paying the bill forever. Others will just change it over, no problem. Others will require him to call to change it over...you won't know until you call them.

I only had a problem with 2. My phone company required a conference call with him to have him agree to have the phone number changed over to me.

One of my credit cards tried to tell me I couldn't remove him even though I was the primary...I raked them over the coals pretty well and had him removed. They didn't like that I paid it off and refused to use it anymore, and when they pushed again, I said fine, cancel it, as I won't use it as long as you keep him on it. They removed him.

I had a problem with my gas company too, but that was more them screwing up than giving me a hard time about him being removed.

Call them. Keep notes.

I had zero problems changing the utilities over to my name. I told the people flat out that I was getting a divorce & he no longer lived here. I was also able to honestly tell them that I had no idea where he lived or his mailing address, which was completely true since he kept his address a secret for about a year.

My temporary orders clearly stated that he could not touch any of the utilities at the marital home (I have exclusive possession). Do you have a SA or temp orders?

I also replied in your other post about his mail.

I would also like to emphasize to use the D-word when you call to change utilities or get your name or his name removed from accounts.

Everytime I called a credit card company and mentioned divorce, they immediately and very respectfully either removed his name or my name (depending on who was "primary"). Most of the utilities were already in my name so I can't help you there. And I ran into a brick wall with the car lease and a loan that we co-signed. So some stuff is easy and some stuff is not. Just set aside 1/2 day or an hour a day for a week to take care of this.

(((hugs)))

Utilities and credit card companies are different animals. I told all utilities that POS left and his whereabouts were unknown (totally true at the time). They changed them without any problem. Credit cards really depend on whether there is a primary account holder (primary can remove anyone) or a joint account (usually can't remove a joint holder without their permission). I closed all joint CC accounts because I didn't want him to have any opportunity to rack up more debt but I removed him on all accounts where I was primary (and removed myself from any accounts where he was primary).

I had no problem with the utilities except Verizon. And the problems created by them made up for the lack of any problems in any of the other services. And it wasn't just me, my GF is going through this crap and she ended up switching to a whole new provided because of how Verizon treated her.

CCs were no problem because we only had one joint account, no balance, so just cancelled it. But if you have a balance, I believe you can put a hold on it, but not take your name off until it is paid.