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Newest Member: Birthdaydiscovery

Reconciliation :
Nothing new - just sucks

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 TryingEveryday (original poster new member #39429) posted at 4:12 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

Went to bed mad. Woke up sad. No triggers, nothing new - just crap resurfacing.

My wife and I have had the best couple of weeks ever lately. Traveled together, enjoying life. Very little of the "yuck."

Today - different story.

She is completely, completely supportive. But the shit just doesn't go away.

Just venting a little - to the people who can relate the most.

Me - BS - 46
Her - WW - 38 (2 ONS)
Five kids:
DD20, DD18, DD17, DS16, DS16
D Day - Dec 24, 2012 -
R - 20 months and going extremely well.

posts: 39   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Montana
id 6458636
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Tred ( member #34086) posted at 4:58 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

But the shit just doesn't go away

Yeah, I can relate to this mate. Hopefully it's just part of the rollercoaster. What are you doing for yourself?

Married: 27 years (14 @JFO) D-Day: 11/09/11"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

posts: 5890   ·   registered: Dec. 2nd, 2011
id 6458702
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crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 6:31 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

But the shit just doesn't go away.

Nope it doesn't for me either. My WH had a tantrum over it this morning too.

fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024

posts: 9075   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 6458841
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BlueDandelion ( new member #40280) posted at 6:52 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

It's about zig zagging. That's what I keep telling myself. Steps forward. Steps back. I'm just not sure which direction we are actually going...

Hang in there.

______________________________

BS Me, age 48

WS, age 45

Five kids, ages K-college

posts: 6   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2013   ·   location: TX
id 6458888
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Bikingguy ( member #38103) posted at 7:57 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

Same here. I am a few weeks shorten from d day as you. The last couple of weeks I have been a little down. Noting major to cause it - a few small possible reasons but not much. Even talked about this in MC yesterday. She said it it perfectly normal.

This may sound stupid but I actually thing some is due to the fact that I hate the end of summer. Outdoor person and the shorter colder days suck!

My take is with this BS shitstorm we are now much more aware of things we didn't notice before.

Me: BH, 44
Her: WW, 43
D day. January 12, 2013

posts: 730   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2013   ·   location: Socal
id 6459034
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hurtininHouston ( member #39250) posted at 8:01 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

We are all there. My w & i have good times & then bam! I am so overly sensitive to anything she says. I sometimes over do it and blow things out of proportion but anger is a terrible force! I can relate to your post!

H

posts: 72   ·   registered: May. 13th, 2013   ·   location: Houston
id 6459045
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ccw82 ( member #40133) posted at 2:25 AM on Friday, August 23rd, 2013

I feel like I am on a roller coaster in the seventh circle of hell! The extremely happy to extremely sad moods are starting to take a toll on me, and I'm beginning to wonder if this is really worth it!

Me (BW): 39
WXH (1DumbHusband): 43
We were married for over 11 years; now divorced.
BIG D-Day: June 17th, 2013

Too many freaking TTs that cost us our marriage in the end.

"Love isn't a feeling, it's a choice."

posts: 331   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2013   ·   location: Dallas, TX
id 6459515
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catlover50 ( member #37154) posted at 3:16 AM on Friday, August 23rd, 2013

Trying, I've actually found that sometimes I would feel a letdown after a trip or good time together. My H even noticed a pattern where I would trigger and cause problems while in the airport on the way home. I suspect that I was reacting to heading back to reality and reality included dealing with the damn betrayal.

The last few months have gotten better, oddly after I unexpectedly took a trip back to my home state without my H. I was worried about it, but ended up feeling stronger after a week apart.

Give yourself a break, but perhaps try to think about the good times more and let them crowd out more of the yuck.

Good luck.

Dday -9/23/2012
Reconciled

posts: 2376   ·   registered: Oct. 16th, 2012   ·   location: northeast
id 6459587
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