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HurtsButImOK (original poster member #38865) posted at 1:25 PM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013
Got an email from X today following up on progress of settlement, first contact in 2 weeks. Email popped up, no usual stab of pain, it was more like an absence of emotion.
Im claiming progress. NC really is the way forward. I think I see indifference on the horizon 
Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore
"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 4:58 PM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
Pass ( member #38122) posted at 5:53 PM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013
Divorced the cheater and living my best life now.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous.
SBB ( member #35229) posted at 10:52 PM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013
I have a visual image of lots of little strings of web attached to me coming from him. It is time consuming but one by one they are easy to break - trying to break them all at once is very difficult.
Every moment you maintain NC is like you're busting down one of those strings. Eventually the web collapses.
I used to think consequences would be my retribution. Turns out it is indifference.
Don't be surprised if you go through some peaks and troughs. I was quite surprised because I thought I was 'done' with that horrid stuff once I went through it once. We seem to go through all of the stages of grief in random order and multiple times.
I am now 18m from DD and I barely recognise the broken, abused, numb person I became during that toxic M nor the angry, humiliated, indignant, hurting, injured person I was in the months afterwards.
I found NC so difficult in the early days - now it is as easy as breathing. I'm still reaching for complete indifference. I don't know that that is 100% possible when I have to share kids with this lower muppet but I'm pretty happy with 99%.
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 10:53 PM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013
Yay, Hurts! 
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
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