SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I still feel much the same. Still angry, still sad, still trigger daily, still good days and bad, good moments and bad, still wonder if it will ever happen again or if someday I will regret staying.

I still think about it daily though I notice periods during the day where I think about something else and completely forget about it...not often but this time last year I thought about it 24/7 so anything is an improvement. I do feel like I'm closer to happy...not there yet but I think I'm on my way.

It's getting better slowly...very slowly.

I understand. I hit year 2 in August. Its a long process

I am into year 4. It does get better. Each year A season has brought less pain. Actually, I have had some health issues lately and it wasn't until I read you note that I realized we are a full month and one half into our A season and I hadn't remembered.

Be patient with yourself. You cannot predict your healing pattern. Take all the time you need to heal. It is a long journey.

I am also starting year 2. We started R pretty quickly, but soon my FWH got tired of it and R was halted (though he thought we were still in it). We are currently at a crossroads and will either begin R for real or split up.

I am so tired of the rollercoaster and his failure to do the work, that today I feel for the first time like I really don't care what happens next. He will be home some time between tomorrow & the next week, (at his sister's who is undergoing chemo) and after seeing counselor today, I have decided it is in his hands now, and make the choice to be o.k. either way. I'm tired of giving the responsibility for my happiness to someone else, so if he wants to do everything I need to heal in the relationship, I will stay and try. If not, then God has another plan for me, and just for today and just at this moment I am ok with that.