SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Got the kids back tonight. It always makes me happy, but lately I've been finding the little easter eggs of information that The Princess likes to send with them. The boys end up mentioning them in conversation (because they tell me everything!), and I am slowly learning to deal with them.

Here's what came with them this time:

1. She has told them that she is dating Mr. Zero, who they remember used to be our neighbour.

2. When she took her iPad in to be fixed at the Apple Store, it HAPPENED to open on a page of items she wanted to buy from Victoria's Secret, (just in case it wasn't clear to EVERYONE that she is banging Mr. Zero) and isn't that the funniest thing ever?

I have treated both of these as items of non-interest, and didn't ask for more details, as I have in the past. Hopefully this will discourage them from telling me. There is no way anything will discourage her from trying to pass it on.

When I first decided to move out, she told me that her counsellor said we shouldn't date other people for TWO YEARS so that we have time to mourn the relationship, and that we shouldn't introduce anyone to the kids unless we've been seeing them for a year - to make sure it's serious.

I would really like to call her on this, and tell her that I think it was just another attempt at controlling me, but I know exactly what y'all are going to say: Fuck her.

And no matter what I say, I'll never hear the truth, so fuck her.

... but of course it still bugs me!

I've been down this road. The sad clown went on an ego kibble bender from telling me he was introducing my then 2 and almost 5 year olds to OWUmpteen a mere 20 weeks after S.

I did what you are contemplating doing and all it got me was an Ego Kibble Crack Whore. It took a good few months of strict NC to wean the fucker off.

The way I see it it is not appropriate to right fight with an X. I couldn't help him be a decent father during the M what the hell chance do I have now?

Ignore it all. Whenever the girls bring home little tidbits of info I say "oh, that's nice" or "oh no" and then change the subject. I'm interested in how they feel and what they are doing - NOT what is going on in Fuckwitsville.

I cannot believe the inappropriate shit she talks to your boys about. I hope you're keeping their IC in the loop as this just makes me feel weird.

Imagine your mum telling you she is buying lingerie? Telling a daughter is kind of weird - telling a young son just makes it weirder. I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination but... yuck.

She is either just living her fucked up life or she is telling them to goad you.

Doesn't matter which it is - crickets to all of it. The hope is if you don't feed the beast they will eventually move along.

I suspect this is just how she interacts with males - even young ones, even her sons. Ewww.

Keep reminding yourself that this stuff is "WTF-ever". Fake it until you make it. Soon you'll realise you're no longer faking it.

Oh EW! The VS thing is utterly inappropriate. Please tell your attorney and the children's counselor. This is exactly the kind of shit you need to document with them.

Good job, though, on keeping your cool. I might not have been so successful.

((((pass & boys))))

EW Pass!

Hugs to you and you kiddos.

Best thing you can do (and are doing) is just listen and no reaction. I'm in aw at your composure.

I have not experienced this with my kids, but I remember oh so well being 6 or 7 and my Father shushing me about talking about my mom and stepfather. Totally different situation, but as an adult ... I still remember the shame that I felt as a kid (crazy I know). The tension was awful, and I never wanted to go to my dads house. You are a great father!