SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hello all,

I'm sad to be posting here tonight, but I would like some feedback on a disturbing item I found tonight while cleaning.

I got my big long duster out to clean some vents up high and decided to clean off the top of the master bathroom cabinet. I do this probably once a year.

Surprise, surprise. I find hemorrhoid cream. That wasn't the big surprise

I found some Jo for Men, sexual attractant deodorant. It has pheromones in it. He hid it up top knowing I'd neeeever see it. I highly doubt that it's to turn me on as the things that I've come out and said turn me on, then buy him (cologne, aftershave) he NEVER wears.

Will confront him tomorrow, but expect denials.

In 2009 we had a short separation after I found out he was soliciting prostitutes on Craigslist. Nothing happened though. He was just curious.

I must be a fool.

Any advice? Men in the group what do you think?

And the thought of leaving his lying, probably cheating ass is not really an option as we have 3 kids 5 and under.

(((Hugs)))

What a strange surprise indeed, on top of the cabinet? You must have some serious self control to be able to wait to ask him!

Do you have other concerns? Are there other signs or feelings you have? It seems odd doesn't it? I hope you will get an answer that you trust and accept.

I have recently discovered a "surprise" myself and the support I found on SI was extremely helpful. I hope you have the same experience.

Please take care of yourself and your precious little ones! I wish you the best!

My first thought was for you to see if the deodorant has an expiration date. That might indicate how old it is, or how long it's been up there. Even if you get up to the top of that cabinet once a year, it could be that your duster missed it.

Seems like once someone lies to us, there words are always suspect for a reason. Unfortunately, you probably do have reason to be quite suspicious. I'm sorry for that.

Be strong.

I was going to ask how dusty was it? Not sure if deodorant has an expiration date.

I have never heard of that product but I would be extremely suspicious to find it stashed away like that. I am afraid he might say it has been there since 2009.

This certainly gives you reason to watch him carefully.

[This message edited by RidingHealingRd at 4:42 AM, September 22nd (Sunday)]

And I thought finding lubricant in the glovebox of his car was horrendous.

What are they thinking?

I know what I'd do but it's probably wrong. Get some Liquid Ass and put a bunch in the deodorant and put it back on the cabinet. He will either notice the room smells like total shit or you bring it up. His nose will track to the deodorant with you right there. What's he gonna do with this pickle? Once that's sorted out, secretly put some in his regular deodorant for good measure. He puts your ass in a sling, sling his ass right back.

Is there any way you could hold off on the confrontation?

It would be nice to avoid the sickening ride on the denial-go-round.

Instead, place the thing back where it was with a 'marker', so you can tell if it's been moved recently.

Also, if you hold back, it will also allow you to implement other watching strategies such as tracking computer, phone, and car use.

I just think it's better to go into sleuth mode, given his past trolling behaviors.

Although seriouslylostit made a funny suggestion (I like that) I think jjct has a good idea. Put it back and see if it moves later. I've never heard of this product..hmmm. what will they think of next