SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Well, well, well.

What a day I've had. I had a jury duty summons for 1 pm. So I wanted to go in and get some work done. On my way to work, someone apparently didn't like me daring to pull out in front of him, and came FLYING up behind me, then whipped around me. For anyone who missed the thread, I was at the scene and assisting ems with a horrific wreck that JM and our ds14 witnessed. A 21 yo died and his 23 yo brother remains in critical care. It was absolutely horrible. Devastating. i held this boy's head for 20 minutes while the life just left him. This was the 2nd awful accident scene I have witnessed in the past 6 months. Both wrecks were due to speed and careless driving.

So when the truck flew past me this morning, I had a complete meltdown panic attack. I burst into tears and sat on the side the road, sobbing for a few minutes until I could pull myself back together. Almost identical thing happened at lunch while I was driving to the courthouse. I called my IC and the only thing they had was time for a phone session at 445 pm.

So, I get to the courthouse, sit thru 2 hrs of paper shuffling and they start to pull for the jury. They pulled 35 names. Mine was #9. They asked a whole bunch of questions for disqualification and exemption but none of them applied to me. They told us if we wanted to speak privately to the judge, we could. I was just hoping not to get picked. I finally went to a bailiff when they were going thru preliminary stuff with the lawyers and I told him I wasn't sure how or when I should speak up but that I was dealing with a big trauma and panic attacks and was supposed to talk to my therapist at 445. He leaves, then calls us all back to the courtroom. He gave me a wink and thumbs up when I walked in. Then they started calling the names of the jury. Mine was called. I was pretty upset but tried to just roll with it. They took us to the jury room and told us to elect a foreman.

Then the same bailiff came and asked me my name. I told him. He looked flustered and left. Came back a few minutes later and took us back to the courtroom. The judge apologized and said he'd never had to do this in 22 years, but was dismissing the entire jury and would have to start over. Then he asked Mrs. SSC to raise her hand, which I did. He said, "Would you please stay here for a moment after everyone leaves? ". Seems that he had intended to excuse me for the week but got confused and excused the wrong person. They didn't realize it till the bailiff recognized me in the jury room.

So, I'm excused for the week, and all the others were pissed at wasting a whole afternoon.

And I just want to be able to drive without freaking out and falling apart every time someone drives like a dick. And I really want to sleep without seeing mangled legs and arms and empty eyes staring at me.

(((HFSSC)))

Oh no, how awful. I am so sorry you went through that.

Wasting an afternoon is by definition being called for jury duty.

It was not your mistake. You did your part: notifying the people who could dismiss you. They made the mistake. NOT YOUR FAULT. Not your fault that you have a trauma response to the careless driving. You are doing your duty/job by dealing with it responsibly.

(((hugs)))

((((HFSSC))))

Im so sorry that you are dealing with this trauma, when you go back just telk c them you are pro death penalty and believe they should bring back public hanging for all who drive like assholes. Pretty sure that you will be dismissed.

Remember that you did all that you could amd there's a much bigger plan at work. Try to find peace in that, and know that you can only protect yourself.

when you go back just telk c them you are pro death penalty and believe they should bring back public hanging for all who drive like assholes. Pretty sure that you will be dismissed.

Mother was called for jury duty back in the day. They asked her how she felt about sex crimes. She looked the guy straight in the eye and said calmly, "I believe any person who sexually assaults another should be publicly castrated." The attorney was "Ok thanks for coming in. You're dismissed."

((((HFSSC))) I'm sorry you're hurting. People do not realize just how fragile life is. You've dealt with alot recently. Take care of yourself.

[This message edited by Aubrie84 at 8:04 PM, October 7th (Monday)]

HFSSC,

I’m glad you held that boys head. It’s a shame it had to be you but at the same time it’s great that it was someone with compassion. Imagine dying by the side of the road and the only attention you get is from a couple of really hard-working EMR’s solely focused on keeping you alive. They don’t have the time to hold someone’s head like you did. Thank you.

As a former cop I witnessed way too many serious and deadly crashes. Although I had means to deal with most of them then there were a couple that sat within me for a very very long time. I still look away when brains are shown in documentaries on TV - twenty plus years since I had the unenviable task of gathering the remains of a young child hit by a SUV.

I finally got IC to help cope with these memories. They weren’t persistent or constant, but they would flare up with no warning. Maybe it’s a form of PTSD… don’t know. But what I do know is that once I got professional help I learned to cope with these memories.

Part of that coping is knowing that what I did and all I did was good. Just like your time spent holding that boys head. Hope you find some peace in that thought.

((((HFSSC)))) Oh, honey. Were you able to talk with your IC after all that?

Thanks y'all. I did get to talk to my IC and she gave me a writing assignment to do. She is going to work with me on relaxation and possibly EMDR.

All I can say is I would not want someone in my state of mind deciding the date of my life, money or business. I'm glad the judge excused me and I have to say that he was quite kind and said he hoped I will be okay with all this soon.

Me too.

I had jury duty the day after I found out my wife cheated on me. When I reported, I immediately went up to the sign in desk and explained my situation. I told the clerk it would be a disservice to put anyone's fate in my hands at that moment. They rescheduled me for six months later, no questions asked.