SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I hate all the abbreviations. What is wrong with actual words? I think it detracts from what people are trying to convey.

[This message edited by Dyinghere at 10:48 PM, November 25th (Monday)]

Agree...I'm new here (sadly) and just used them because it seemed to be the norm and I was trying to follow expectations by whomever designed it...but will happily avoid it in the future now if the site mods don't object.

Sorry. For the most part, I'm a 1 finger typist, without the abbreviations I'd actually be on SI 25 hours a day instead of 24.

Seriously though, I do understand what you are saying. The situation merits full consideration, not some twitter language. Unfortunately, the commonality of the situation does merit some shorthand, not?

ETA There are definitions in the healing library if interested.

[This message edited by 5454real at 10:56 PM, November 25th (Monday)]

Of course no one is obligated to use abbreviations when they post!

I would find it cumbersome to write "former wayward husband" or "the day I discovered that my husband was secretly fucking another woman" rather than "fWH" and "d-day". I don't like to write out "affair" because that sounds like a romantic fling. "A" (the scarlet letter) works better.

I figure that SI-speak is a living language, created and influenced by those who use it. If the abbreviations were really obscure or if they hindered communication, you wouldn't find thousands of people using them.

I sympathize and understand your feelings Dyinghere and ladycody. As a lover of words and language, I really do get it.

I felt like a stranger in a strange land who didn't quite understand the language, but got the gist of it. Didn't think I would ever learn all the abbreviations. You catch on rather quickly, actually, and before you know it you are using fluent SI. Don't ever feel like you must use the abbreviations, though. If you aren't comfortable, don't do it.

I personally find the abbreviations quite handy. I agree with sailorgirl about the cumbersomeness that would entail and agree with 5454real about the time issue, good reasons to use abbreviations.

I get some of them, like BS and WH, A and OW. It is just there are so many and it seems like a lot of trouble to go and look them up. I just need some help, not homework.

Sorry, just re-read myself and see that I was whining unnecessarily. Abbreviate away, everyone, and I will shut up about it. I am just mad at everything I guess.

I am just mad at everything I guess.

That happens. It will pass, believe it or not.

Sometimes I type out the entire word and sometimes I use abbreviations, it just depends on what I feel like doing at that moment.

But by all means, if you feel better writing out the entire set of words...Do it. All of these abbreviations ARE a bit like learning a second language!

Sorry you are having a hard time. We will do our very best to give you the support and help you need.

Hang around a while. With time, it won't seem a detractor. You won't even notice them.

As with any writing, abbreviations are a huge timesaver. They take some getting used to, but they save the writer time, and sometimes that matters.

Sometimes, I use them. Other times, I don't. When I do, it's because I'm writing a response to someone during my lunch or break, on my phone, and then---yes. It does make a difference, time-wise.

The alternative would be not responding at all.

I'd rather offer the support if I have a few minutes.

They pissed me off, too, at the beginning. And no, you don't sound whiny. You're learning a new "language," and it's frustrating, particularly when you're being subjected to the pressure-cooker that is infidelity.

[This message edited by solus sto at 6:42 AM, November 26th (Tuesday)]

I can't remember not using the abbreviations, except that I will spell things out with very new folks until I see that they are starting to use them.

Funny thing is that when I'm reading, or writing, I don't say "BW" in my head...I say betrayed wife. Also sort of funny...my wife and I will use the initials when we get in conversations in public or in front of our kids.

Dyinghere,

Please don't shut up! Vent away about anything. With infidelity, we often have to act as if everything is peachy when it so totally is not. Here, we can let all the feelings out!

When writing about myself, my wife, or her affair I tend not to use the abbreviations. When I respond to others' posts, though, if they seem to be particularly overwhelmed by emotion I'll use the abbreviations, since they seem to lend a bit of emotional distance.

I don't need, and don't particularly want, that distance for myself, but as a rhetorical tool it's sometimes useful.

What I did was print out the abbreviations and had a copy nearby when I was reading on SI at first. It helped.

You didn't sound whiny. ((((Dyinghere))))

I don't know that I have any real preference but I do know that on another board I use I have had to catch myself to NOT type WH!

Vent away.

I use a combination of abbreviations / real words when referring to the affair, my husband, chickie, etc.

I get ya Dying here, and I try not to use too many of the abbreviations in Just Found out for that reason. Some of them I still go what does that mean? and I've been here for 5+ years.

YOu will get used to the common ones, and the rest you can guess usually.

I soooo remember being overwhelmed by the abbreviations. For a while I was a member of another support group who used totally different abbreviations, so I was really confused and caught myself using the wrong ones on the wrong site. I liked SI better, so I dropped off the other site. It got easier with time and even over a year later, I still don't know them all. You are not whining and nobody here minds if you do.

What frustrates me are the abbreviations that aren't in the FAQ about abbreviations.

I don't mind some of them, but when a post begins to look like text speak it gets to me. Also if a long post has no paragraph breaks it can be difficult to read. My grammar is not perfect, but when I see a wall of text with little to no punctuation it can make it hard to read the post.

I don't mind some of them, but when a post begins to look like text speak it gets to me. Also if a long post has no paragraph breaks it can be difficult to read.

Same here.

Every message board on the internets has its set of abbreviations. You will get used to it, promise.

Agree with the use of text speak. I really need paragraphs and real words. The first time I see a "ur" or "2" in a post, I exit out. Not for lack of caring, but reading that causes me brain pain.