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Newest Member: Starrystarrynight

Divorce/Separation :
I'm freaking out!

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 traicionada (original poster member #10310) posted at 4:31 PM on Wednesday, November 27th, 2013

The night terrors stopped 2 1/2 years after day and with them the dreams also went away. After 2 years of therapy, I made peace with it. I resigned myself to leave in a world without dreams. Until 2 days ago, the dreams are back and with them the XH. Needless to say, I'm freaking out. I haven't been to IC in over a year because my therapist swore I was fine. Guess what? Today, I don't feel fine. Today, I feel scared, sad & just flat out pathetic I vanquished him from my mind long ago; he doesn't get to come back. Ugh! Now, I feel stupid for crying

Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...

posts: 4020   ·   registered: Apr. 5th, 2006   ·   location: Dallas, Texas
id 6576600
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 4:37 PM on Wednesday, November 27th, 2013

Honey - you are not stupid! Of course you're crying. You thought you had cleaned house thoroughly only to find more stuff to clean. You're entitled to those feelings, traic.

You know the drill. Self care today. Maybe consider a revisit to IC?

(((((huge hugs)))))

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6576609
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Ashland13 ( member #38378) posted at 5:57 PM on Wednesday, November 27th, 2013

Setbacks come here, too. We're entitled, Traic. Don't beat yourself up but get back up when you can and think of all the progress you've made.

Sometimes the pain makes it hard to see how hard we've come, but it's there, nonetheless.

One thing that helped me, FWIW, is to tell myself repeatedly about "today".

"Today", I am ok. "Today", Perv is not important.

"Today", I did all these things and I made a list of all the stuff I did on my own. I look back at it at night when I'm down and it helps every time.

Making "today" a present tense time helps reel our brains back into the now. This was a tool that an IC gave me and it helped during some pretty dark days.

Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington

posts: 3034   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2013   ·   location: New England
id 6576728
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StillLivin ( member #40229) posted at 10:13 PM on Wednesday, November 27th, 2013

With these kinds of situations, it just means you are getting stronger and ready to deal with the serious hurt. You've dealt with a lot, maybe there were some unresolved issues your subconscious didn't want to give your conscious just yet.

Plus, it's the holidays. Of course that is gonna trigger some things too!

Tomorrow is a whole new day.

"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014

posts: 6242   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2013   ·   location: AZ
id 6577135
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