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ninebark (original poster member #24534) posted at 6:44 PM on Wednesday, November 27th, 2013
I am so ANGRY today!!!
STBEXH told DS on the weekend that he would take him to see a basketball game tonight with one of DS' buddies from martial arts class and friend's dad.
DS has guitar lessons and then he can go after. So we leave for lessons at 5, it is currently almost 3 and I have heard nothing from him. No confirmation of what time he is coming, if he is coming...etc.
I want to call him, just so DS will have a good time and not be dissapointed, but at the same time I am tired of being the one to make all these arrangements. If he wants to be a father to our son he really needs to step up to the plate. TO call or not to call that is the question (and can I do it without getting snarky)
Ugh sometimes I really hate that man!!!
BS (me) 40
WH - 48
Married 12 years
DS - 12
D-day 06/21/09
Separated....hopefully divorcing soon.
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 6:54 PM on Wednesday, November 27th, 2013
Would it be unusual for DS to call his father and inquire, leaving you out of it?
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
ninebark (original poster member #24534) posted at 8:02 PM on Wednesday, November 27th, 2013
That is exactly what I ended up doing. I asked DS about supper and he said "dad is taking me out". So I told him he had better call dad. I know ex forgot but at least he is going to do it.
BS (me) 40
WH - 48
Married 12 years
DS - 12
D-day 06/21/09
Separated....hopefully divorcing soon.
devistatedmom ( member #24961) posted at 12:55 AM on Thursday, November 28th, 2013
Yep. He's 12. He can speak to XH when needed. Take yourself out of the equation as much as possible. It sucks when they can't remember from day to day what they promise.
BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.
ninebark (original poster member #24534) posted at 3:23 AM on Thursday, November 28th, 2013
It's true, DS is going to have to deal with his dad. I just hate seeing him disappointed when his dad makes yet another promise and then forgets about it.
He didn't get to meet up with his friend either...but at least he had a good time at the game.
BS (me) 40
WH - 48
Married 12 years
DS - 12
D-day 06/21/09
Separated....hopefully divorcing soon.
Gemini71 ( member #40115) posted at 5:47 AM on Thursday, November 28th, 2013
Texting is a wonderful thing. I don't have to hear SXTBXH's voice, and I can take all the time I want to decide what to say or not to say.
i.e. "DS will be back from lessons at 5:40. Please confirm that you will pick him up for the game at 5:45."
DSs 21, 16, 12
About my Ex:
IDK
IDC
IDGAF
Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014
Pass ( member #38122) posted at 2:44 PM on Thursday, November 28th, 2013
I know you don't want your son to be disappointed, but it IS going to happen some time. I've been told many times on here that I am no longer responsible for the relationship The Princess has with our boys.
You handled this well, but you may want to consider letting it play out next time. Your boy will be disappointed, and you will be there to help him through it. He has a lifetime of dealing (or not) with this arsehole ahead of him. He might as well learn who is the reliable parent.
But I know it sucks.
Divorced the cheater and living my best life now.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous.
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