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Divorce/Separation :
My Anniversary Gift - The "Truth"

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 erzulie (original poster member #3293) posted at 8:51 PM on Wednesday, November 27th, 2013

Monday would have been my 7th wedding anniversary.

I met with WH at counseling, one last time, so that he could "give me the truth". After about 20 minutes of explaining why he needed to do this - a lot of "I need to become truly vulnerable", "I want to build my house from rock, not sand", that sort of thing ... he admitted to one physical affair. Then, casually mentioned that there were actually two.

No idea whether there were two, or twelve, or none, really. To watch him explain how he arranged to meet these women via the Internet was enough to turn my stomach for a LONG time.

The cherry on the cake had to do with him travelling out of town this past June to attend his class reunion in Florida. I was unable to go, because a year before I had committed myself to a week of volunteerism at an animal sanctuary in Utah - an annual trip with my animal welfare friends. My trip and his reunion overlapped, so he opted to go alone. My mom and brother came to my house to care for the dogs so he could go. So ... he went, met with family, friends out there. And met with his sex hookup while he was there. Then, came back home, said how much he missed me, had sex with me, and went back to pretending to be Husband of the Year.

Now, all I need to do is figure out how to alleviate the nausea before I go to see my family tomorrow for Thanksgiving. Suggestions?

A saying for my SI Family: "We may not have it all together, but together we have it all".

Fooled twice - almost exactly 10 years apart.

posts: 3380   ·   registered: Jan. 27th, 2004   ·   location: California
id 6577003
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 8:59 PM on Wednesday, November 27th, 2013

(((((erzulie))))) Sweet fancy Moses. I'm so sorry you had to listen to that bullshit. Self-serving and cruel, to say the least.

Please tell me you are done listening? Please? Because this is damage you didn't need.

Big hugs, honey.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6577015
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 erzulie (original poster member #3293) posted at 9:03 PM on Wednesday, November 27th, 2013

No, I don't feel damaged by it, truly. I feel freed by it.

Just the process of witnessing it unfold has caused me to lose my lunch a bit ...

A saying for my SI Family: "We may not have it all together, but together we have it all".

Fooled twice - almost exactly 10 years apart.

posts: 3380   ·   registered: Jan. 27th, 2004   ·   location: California
id 6577018
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gypsybird87 ( member #39193) posted at 9:08 PM on Wednesday, November 27th, 2013

((erzulie))

Wow. A gift, yes... but one that keeps on giving just a little too much. How these people can even live with themselves is totally beyond me.

I have a theory that the level of disgust/nausea etc we experience over their actions is directly relative to how much BETTER we are, as people, than they are.

He is so beneath you. A case full of barf bags beneath you.

Keep staying strong.

Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords

posts: 1857   ·   registered: May. 7th, 2013   ·   location: Oregon
id 6577025
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StillLivin ( member #40229) posted at 10:05 PM on Wednesday, November 27th, 2013

No, I don't feel damaged by it, truly. I feel freed by it.

Honey, I totally get this. I had my lightbulb moment in the middle of the night myself.

Must be the holidays.

Eat lots of gigner bread and ginger cookies or ginger ale! Ginger is fantastic for nauseating XHs!

Bwahahaha

"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014

posts: 6243   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2013   ·   location: AZ
id 6577122
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