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General :
Baby announcement

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 Kenleysmom (original poster new member #40892) posted at 9:30 AM on Sunday, December 8th, 2013

I have not posted yet, just do a lot of reading. My husband and I are reconciling and doing really well. He had a ONS/ a month EA with a women from work. They no longer work together and we are doing great but a huge part of me cant help but want to send her a new baby announcement as I am pregnant with our second. I realize it is childish and petty but just thinking about it brings me a little bit of joy. Not as much as slashing her tires would have but that oppritunity is gone lol.

So I guess I'm just asking good idea or bad? Also they have had no contact since DD and I have full access to everything and have blocked her so her contacting him shouldn't be an issue. Thank you for listening. I know I think it's a fabulous idea but want to know what someone with experience and an outsiders perspective thinks?

posts: 1   ·   registered: Oct. 5th, 2013   ·   location: California
id 6589235
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Bobbi_sue ( member #10347) posted at 9:47 AM on Sunday, December 8th, 2013

I would most certainly NOT send her a new baby announcement. I happen to live in a small town area, and I would surely have something like that announced in the local newspaper though. You might have some less obvious avenues to make sure she gets the memo about your baby.

Also, put your happy news on Facebook if you have an account. Do you have mutual friends with the whore? If you do, the word will likely get back to her. As for me, I would not block her from FB. I'd unblock, but never post anything there that you would NOT want her to know.

posts: 7283   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2006
id 6589237
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BrighterFuture ( member #38914) posted at 9:55 AM on Sunday, December 8th, 2013

I agree with Bobbi-Sue. Telling her would make her feel important and you shall have broken NC. Don't do it. Let the word pass around through someone else. It would hurt her the most that way.

Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.

posts: 539   ·   registered: Apr. 7th, 2013   ·   location: Ohio
id 6589240
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Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 8:14 AM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013

How are you able to get in contact with her if they don't work together anymore?

I'm with the other posts, though. No contact is always the best policy. Even if you get some kind of satisfaction from the thought of her discomfort... you are inviting her into your baby's live, however inadvertently.

Don't give her any more energy. Spend it on yourself and your little ones.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

posts: 29076   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6593201
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 1:51 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013

NC NC NC

AS much fun as it is to fantasize about such things, it wouldn't do anything but encourage her to reach back out to H. Don't give her the power. She will find out some way that you two are happy and getting to healthy and reproducing, and that will get her.

NC NC NC

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6593351
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itainteasy ( member #31094) posted at 3:07 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013

No contact.

She'll find out one way or another, and none of those ways should come from you, or your WH.

Congratulations on your new baby!!!

posts: 3446   ·   registered: Feb. 4th, 2011   ·   location: NWPA
id 6593482
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JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 3:10 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013

Oh no no no. She'll find out eventually on her own. If it comes from you, she'll know that she bothers you. It's hard advice to follow, but act like she does not exist.

posts: 9505   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2010   ·   location: Southeast US
id 6593486
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JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 3:11 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013

Oh yes and congratulations!

posts: 9505   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2010   ·   location: Southeast US
id 6593487
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KeepCalm_CarryOn ( member #33374) posted at 3:11 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013

Personally there was/is no way in HELL I would EVER give the OW ANY information about my daughter. None, nada, nothing! I don't want her to know ANYTHING about my family anymore. I don't want her to have any windows into my world.

You are not dealing with rational people or situations. Normal thought processes won't work...story of my life.

Me- BW, 30
Him- fWh, 36
Mostly R'd, minus a few scars...bought a house and got a puppy...And baby makes 3! She arrived August 2013

posts: 2156   ·   registered: Sep. 15th, 2011
id 6593488
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TrustGone ( member #36654) posted at 4:44 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013

NO,NO,NO...Do not send anything to the OW. She does not deserve a look into your marriage or family. Even if it bothers her for a second, it will only allow her a look into your life again. I know here while back, I thought about calling the OW and telling her she lost and didn't she feel like a total idiot for being used for 3yrs and that my WH#2 never planned on leaving me for her, even though she got an engagement ring from him to shut her up. I had to talk myself down off the ledge because it would have just started the broken NC back up again. Talk yourself off the ledge. She is not worth your headspace. Concentrate on fixing your marriage and family now. Enjoy your pregancy and congratulations!!! (((HUGS)))

XWH#2-No longer my monkey Divorced 8/15, Now married to a wonderful man.
"A person is either an asset or a lesson"
"Changing who you are with does not change who you are"

posts: 10077   ·   registered: Aug. 30th, 2012   ·   location: Texas
id 6593619
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