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Another thing I noticed at retrouvaille

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 Lionne (original poster member #25560) posted at 4:25 AM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

And this ties in with that pesky body image thing. I DIDN'T notice much animosity among couples as we settled in. Everyone seemed pretty civil. There were a few frosty pairs, and the initial optional "share" suggested some tension. Overall, low tension. I'm hyper aware of weight, especially in women as my SAFWH has always been hypercritical of overweight women and used to say nasty things to me in an attempt to keep me away from him intimately. I've never been overweight. He has, go figure.

I've always looked at couples and judged a man's sex appeal by how he looks and treats his partner. His weight doesn't matter. If he is attentive to her, eye contact,smiles lovingly, maybe a hand on her back to guide her, take her hand, etc. THAT'S sexy.

By the end of the sessions, and with the presenting couples, THAT'S what I saw. Regardless of what the women looked like, whether they were thin or heavy, I saw men who loved them, and heard men talk in loving ways about their marriages to them. Of course, I have no idea into their physical lives, I just certainly hope they are happy there.

But it was eye opening to me. Here were men that DIDN'T judge on body size. Of course I knew they existed, I really have seen them before, but it was tangible in this setting.

Maybe I'm loveable, too.

Me-BS-71 in May HIM-SAFWH-74 I just wanted a normal life.Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8533   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 6680259
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lemony.2008 ( member #20125) posted at 4:49 AM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

Maybe I'm loveable, too.

Absolutely! I have no doubt.

eta HUGS!

[This message edited by lemony.2008 at 10:51 PM, February 10th (Monday)]

Feel the feelings and drop the story. - Pema Chodron

posts: 2243   ·   registered: Jul. 5th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 6680277
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Trying2Survive1 ( member #40022) posted at 5:14 AM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

(((((SK)))))))

You are!!!

Madhatters, M 37yrs, many DDays
Both 60's, he now has stage 4 bladder cancer and in remission.
We're in solid R, there is hope!
Stop right there: I already don’t give a fuck ~ ty Greeneyesbluezy

posts: 436   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2013   ·   location: The Upside Down
id 6680292
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